And I mean, by any stretch of the imagination is at in any way okay?

For you to call me, knowing full well I don't want to talk on the phone, and leave me some sappy "Oh, hey baby I was just calling cus I wanted to hear your voice and I miss you" type message, and then seventeen seconds later, be all on the internet about how much you miss your ex. How y'all still talk and hold hands and call each other baby and she's the only person you've ever truly loved (never mind you're claiming you love me), and how you wish you could've seen her today but you restrained yourself because you know you would've called in to work for the opportunity to spend more time with her.

Ok. So, let's make something clear. I am a greedy, selfish, moody, difficult person. I've never made any claims otherwise. Sometimes I'm lonely, and sometimes I need some attention from the opposite sex, but I am in no way desperate, and I'm sure as hell not desperate enough to be your distraction. Your "since I can't have what I want, I'll go holler at her" broad. Your rebound. I will not be anything other than numero uno, the alpha and omega, first and last thing on your mind all the gotdamned time. If I'm gonna come second to something, it'd better be business or family. Not the next bitch and most definitely not the last one.

And if I can't have that, then I don't want anything.

So yeah, this is over. Have a nice night.

Labels: Rant from hell

For uhm.....a little over a year now, there's been this guy. He's always been there. Just the prototype of perfect. Unattainable, and I probably wouldn't want him as much if I had him, but I always wanted him. He's been in a relationship pretty much since I met him, and while if any man was worth home wrecking, it'd be him, I restrained my homewrecking tendencies, I kept a respectable distance, and I never tripped when his extra paranoid and insecure girlfriend acted an ass. I couldn't really be mad at her for being paranoid and insecure when I was plotting all the ways I could take her man, that's not really fair, now is it? And I never even considered whether I was right for this man, or whether he was right for me. I've just always been inexplicably drawn to everything about him. It's been hard for me to do the just friends thing, so much that when we lost touch, I was kind of relieved. At the same time I was just hating on his fucking girlfriend that was entirely undeserving of this miracle she had (and that statement is completely unfounded, cus I've never had a conversation with that female, and I don't know what she is or is not deserving of, and I've tried soooo hard not to be a fucking hater, but the shit has never worked, I can't stand that little girl).

Except for she just ruined it. She hurt him and I want to find and STRANGLE that little bitch like you don't even understand.

I can't even type about this anymore. Get your head together Ashley. There's a time and place and this is neither.