I don't like it when my brother goes to visit his father. I don't like it at all. Not even on weekends. If you know me well, you know I have issue's with his father (who's name is Karl), and that I raised my little brother for the majority of his younger life (like 0-4). It feels like I"m sending my own child off to slaughter when I send him out there.

The feeling is completely irrational, of course, Karl's never done anything wrong to Jon, or any of his biological children. He loves them. He's perfect with them. Jon loves his dad, and I don't want to mess that up with my personal issues. Idk it just...it makes me nervous to have him out there.

Anyway, normally he goes for a week or two during the summer. During that week I try to stay as busy as possible, so I don't think about where he is. This summer he's going for a month. An entire month. Like, I know you guys don't get it, it probably seems like I just have some retarded attachment to my little brother, but...

Nevermind. This blog is so purposeless, cus it's not even making me feel any better, I'm just working myself up more. I think I'm just gonna go to sleep.

=[