She needed to hear that. Or read it, or whatever.

My "oh shit" reflex just kicked in justtttttt now. I was waiting on it though. I knew it'd come. This is how I get. I enjoy the cuddly warm feeling that comes with talking to a guy for a short period of time, but don't let me actually start to like the nigga. No, that's against the rules. Don't let me lose control of my emotions at all, even the slightest bit. That's when it's time to stop. Take a couple steps back. Like four steps, or twelve steps, or all the steps. How bout we start at the beginning? I'm Ashley, and you?

In the last three minutes I've come up with about thirty reasons to let this shit go and just pretend like it never happened, seriously. It's not even so much that I mind relinquishing the control, it's who I'm relinquishing the control to, and what they plan on doing with it. In this particular case it feels like it'd just be floating out in the middle of nowhere, because the person I'd give it to (and I'd give it, in case you were wondering, I really would), doesn't seem to want it. I guess I'm supposed to be confident in the fact that he does want me (I mean, why wouldn't he, right?) but I hate that, 'cause confidence has gotten me in trouble far too many times. What if he doesn't? See? That shit there is far to scary for me to fuck with right now. So I should just let it go, right? Right. You see what I'm talking about. I knew you'd understand.

My fucking head is a mess right now. I'm beyond sleepy, but I don't want to sleep. Being in the dark and quiet leaves too much room for thinking. Ehh.

"I've been changed and rearranged and it's not like it was before"

OH! and by the way, this is not subliminal, this is for you. And just because I'm not throwing your name around, doesn't mean it's not for you. So, yeah.

Till next time: Positive energy, high hopes, love♥