Okay. So lets talk about it. I'm ready to talk about it. Are you ready to talk about it? Doesn't matter, we're talking about it. Here's whats up.

We had a housing inspection about a week ago, they do that before your one year lease is up, just to make sure you haven't been fucking shit up extensively while you've been living there. I'm not gonna lie to yall, it was a surprise inspection (I was butt naked, hiding in the bathroom when I heard them walk in, real talk, had it been a robbery, that'd have been the last of me), so the house wasn't exactly clean. But thats not what they took issue with. They took issue with the amount and size of the furniture we had in the aparment, and the fact that the way some of it was placed made it a fire hazard. They said they'd be back in a week, and if it wasn't fixed, they'd be forced to evict us.

We did all we could do. Fixed that fire hazard shit with a quickness, cleaned everything spotless (by spotless, I mean to the best of our ability with the cleaning supplies and appliances on hand), and moved everything we weren't actively using into goddaddy & aunty isha's garage. The follow up inspection was today. We twiddled our thumbs and waited.

No go.

Still too much stuff, arranged poorly, its cluttered, they don't like it. The manager is being "kind" and giving us two days to try again. Today being day one of that two days. Tomorrow being day two. I skipped school today to help mom clean. The more we understand what they want us to do, the more we realize it can't be done. Especially since there's not gonna be anyone here to help her tomorrow. I've got work and school, & I can't miss again. They will fail me. & we already know how the high school diploma situation is going, so we can't have that. So basically, we're looking and eviction.

And not just eviction. No, not just eviction. We failed a housing inspection twice, therefore, they can use something they like to call "special circumstances eviction" which will have us evicted in two weeks.

We can't afford to move. We can't stay. Go ahead and ask me what the fuck we're going to do.

I haven't the slightest. I haven't talked about it with mom yet. She's not ready to deal with it realistically. She's still saying "It'll all work out". I know it will. It has to. But how? Here's what I'm thinking: we're going to have to split up.

AnnMarie pretty much already lives with goddaddy & aunty isha. She's got her own room && a tv && she's pretty happy there. Mom's considering going back to LA, taking Jon with her. They'd get a spare room with one of her friends. The two of them could pull that off.

And me? Well, I've got options. I've got a job here. Plus, when I turn 18, I'll get that money, so I'm not gonna be too bad off anywhere. But here are my options:

If I stay here:
I could live with Alyssea, get a transfer out to her neighborhood, finish school, & decide what I'm going to do from there. Downside? The chances of me remaning a relatively good human being at Alyssea's are about [..] this big.

I could live with Mike, get a transfer out to his neighborhood, finish school, & decide what I'm going to do from there. There is no downside. Mike's amazing. He'd have high expectations though.

Third option, and the most conventional: I could move in with goddaddy and unty isha as well. Same as living anywhere else out here, minus the transfer. Life'd be better. They're a little more liberal with money. They were buying elmo Ed Hardy sneakers when she couldn't walk (THE FUCK DID YOU NEED SHOES FOR ELMO?) but okay. Downside? They work my fucking nerves. I'd probably go insane.

I could move to LA, live with any number of people. I'd be back home. I'd have my friends back. I'd have my life back. I'd have my mom, but I wouldn't be living with her. Job transfer, finish school, decide what I'm gonna do from there.

Or I could move to Rockford. Stay with my uncle perry & aunt Shirley. They've got plenty of room. No job transfer, I'd have to get a new one. New school, new people, fresh start entirely. No mom. No anybody. It'd be creepy.

Those are my options. I don't know. You know, as young adults, we all reach that point where you have to leave the nest, the safety and security of the blah, blah, blah. Never thought it would happen quite like this.

But nothing in life, bad or good, ever lasts. Remember child, that this too shall pass.
-A.