You know what sucks worse than losing? Winning. You're expecting to lose. In most cases, you're expecting to lose, you know how to lose, you've lost before. But winning? Well now, thats a different case entirely. If you'd lost, you'd have gone on with your life, the same way you had before, but winning? You can't just continue being a content loser after you've won. Why, the world just doesn't work that way.

Jazmine Sullivan picks the winner of the Fearless Lyric Contest a week from today, and I'm so honestly hoping its not me. I'm not ready for all that.

Date situation went well. You know you were dying for me to tell you that.

Do y'all remember Jesse? White boy, with the fiance that would not quit from last spring? He's back. Well no, let me amend that. He's not back for shit. But he wants to be back. He planned this immaculate ass scheme to get back in my life today. Somethin like this:

Text message received: Jenny:
Jesse has your sweater. Can I give him your number?

Me (thinking): Watch this nigga just wants an excuse to call me. But wait, I did lose my red & black sweater. And WAIT! that is the sweater we used in our performance...okay

Text message sent: I guess.

Turns out, he just wanted an excuse to call me. Said I wouldn't have agreed to give him my number if I didn't wanna talk to him. Nigga I was concerned about my mother fucking sweater. You and your fat ass insecure stupid bitch of a fiance can hit the ground runnin with the bullshit. Fuck off my phone. That shit upset me all fucking day.

And if you're wondering why the hostility at his fiance, cus that bitch pissed me off! And almost made me want to take her fucking man all this time ago. On some "Ashley, you're worried about people thinking there's something going on between you and Jesse, please don't. I've already told everyone, you're not his type at all! He likes his women more.....mature." She's 24. He's 21. They're both full of shit. Her more than him. He's just a dog. She's running the kennel - letting the dog shit all over her, and loving it.

Sorry. Feeling a little pent up aggression there.

My head really hurts.

I'm putting the new layout up as soon as I talk to Zula about it. Which will be never again, so it'll look like this forever. Not a bad way to go, if I do say so myself. I am changing the playlist though. Now. =]

-A.

//edit// I FIGURED IT OUT!! I FIGURED OUT WHY NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I CAN'T MAKE THE NEW BLOG SEXY! lol. Okay. I'll put it up tomorrow. Omgsh, I'm so dumb. I see the light now! I see it! Really!! Don't you see it?

Lol. Its not gonna be a big change, but you guys will love it. Guaranteed.