My philosophy class has gotten me thinking about what I stand for really. My instructor says every person has a few basic principles that they base their life around, and, whether good or bad, those principles make the person. I have three, that I can think of off the top of my head, and, when I think about it, they actually really do explain just about everything I do.

1) If nothing else, I believe in balance. There's no pleasure without pain, no prosperity without suffering, no right without wrong. You wouldn't be on time if nobody had ever been late. You wouldn't be smart if somebody wasn't stupid. You wouldn't be pretty if somebody wasn't ugly. Would you know what clean looked like if somebody wasn't dirty? Balance is the most underappreciated thing in the world. Everything you look at is relative. Its on a spot in the spectrum of balance. You think gas prices are high, but they're only high now because they were low at another point. You think you're broke, but you only think that because someone else has more. And you're only rich if someone else has less. Balance makes the world go round.

2) This isn't something that should be applied to everyone, but it definitely applies to me. I'm a perfectionist to the point that if I'm not going to do something all the way, I won't do it at all. Think go hard or go home, except for if I'm not going to go hard, I won't leave the house. Why waste the energy? If i'm not going to clean my room all the way, I won't clean it. If I'm not going to do my homework well, I won't do it. If I'm not going to give my all at school or work, I won't go. Thats the number one thing that pisses people off about me most of the time. They try to explaian to me that the world doesn't work that way. And if it did, no one would ever get anything done. I don't agree. I think the best people would get the best things done. People say that, if I really live like that, people must dislike me a whole lot. Not true at all. I'm admired. Because the few things I do,I do well. So well in fact, that I'm asked to do them regularly. I'm knowwn for the things I do, and the things I don't do are very rarely even mentioned, because people are so in awe with the things I do. Like I said, probably not a good mindset for everyone to have, but its definitely one I live by.

3) This probably should've been number two, but I thought of it last. I believe in God, and have faith. Faith, really, is at the bottom of all my decisions. Because at the end of the day, the things we do are nothing in the grand scheme of the world. And you have to believe you have purpose, or the contents of your life, no matter how grand, start to seem so small. Faith, the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen, will produce a breeze on the hottest day. Faith will be that extra ten minutes on your cell phone battery. Faith will be the good friend that calls you just as your world seems to fall apart. Faith is the joke that makes you laugh when you were on the verge of tears. Without faith, the world really is a dark place.

However, believing in balance as I do, I understand that everyone can't have faith. It wouldn't be faith if they did. If everyone believed, belief wouldn't have the power that it does. It wouldn't shock and awe people the way it does if it was commonplace. But it hurts my heart that everyone can't have the faith that I have. The underlying sense that, no matter what the drama, everythings going to be okay. Yes, sometimes I cry, because I can't see the way out, but I dry my eyes soon after, because I know I don't have to see it for it to be there. I don't have to see Him for Him to be there. And I know that He is.

I don't know how to describe it. Knowing that he's real and believing in him is so different. Its like the difference between air and wind. Same thing when you look at it scientifically, but the believing gives it so much more power. I wish everybody could feel that. I wish everybody could understand that.

But I know that they can't.

My faith is one of the few things that I generally don't push. For the simple fact that I'm not doing it to the best of my ability. I'm actually not doing anything at all with it. Theres that perfectionism. I want to though. I need to start taking responsibility for my own spiritual growth and not leaving it in the hands of just anybody. Blah. somebody remind me that I said that. I'll forget.

Uhm. I could probably conjure up plenty more to say, but I won't. Its hot. Its late. I think I'm going to head over to my godfathers though, && watch my TV shows. I'm all late. I didn't remember it was Sunday till justttt now. lol, how slow am I.

Anyway, if you're reading this, try thinking about the few principles that make you who you are. It doesn't matter how big or small they are. Just that they are. Ever heard that line "Stand for something, or you'll fall for anything"? It actually doesn't matter what you stand for, as long as you're standing.

Dontcha think?

-A.