I talked to Goddaddy about it today. He took it different than I'd expected. Not better. Not worse, just different. Now I've got an outline for a plan. Not a full plan. But an outline for a plan. If it works, well, if it works, I'll be about three steps ahead of where I am right now, && thats three steps in the right direction. So, wish me luck, even though I'm not going to speak on details to the plan in this venue.

Three songs on repeat:
Twista ft. Faith Evans - Hopeful (you hecka shoulda seen that coming)
"Sit at the light so long, && then we gotta move straight forward cus we fight so strong. So when right goes wrong, just say a little prayer. Get your money man, life goes on."
Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
"&& When you're out there, without care, yea I was out of touch. But it wasn't because I didn't know enough...I just knew too much."
Van Hunt - Down Here In Hell (With You)
"What would I do if we were perfect? Where would I go for disappointment? Love without pain would leave me wondering why I stay."


I was writing my essay for the night school program when I got home, && i swear, I completely amaze myself with these conceptual essay topics. Wanna see a bit?

"Writing's always been a bit like magic to me: My pen, the wand, sprinkling words like fairy dust over my audience, until they're caught up enough in the rapture to go wherever I'm taking them.

The politics of education, however, is the poison apple of my fairy tale world. Natural ability is not enough. They trade survival of the fittest for survival of who can do the most homework. So while the students still relying on basic third grade sentence structure get ahead; I get D's and F's for being too wrapped up in the writing to do the grunt work associated with it. I sit waiting in the box society's created: Sleeping Beauty, waiting on her kiss.

But fairy tales are so old fashioned. I've realized that if I want my happy ending, I'll have to go get that kiss myself. I'll have to work for it. No, natural ability is not enough. I'll have to prove my drive to the world, but more than that, I'll have to prove it to myself. And by the time I'm done, the whole world will know that life can be a fairy tale."

The interviews tomorrow at 1. wish me luck.

Semi made a thingy madoodle with Chase to see Death Race. Sunday I'm thinking, since he starts school on the 2nd. && I probably do too, if the plan goes according to...yea, we're not talking about that. I forgot.

Man, I'm gonna miss late nights at Alyssea, being half drunk & half contact high watching movies. I'm going to miss the smell of popcorn in the morning. I'm going to miss cafeteria's that serve actual food. I'm hella gonna miss my free buspass.

But I'm not going to miss feeling like I'm worth something better. I'm not going to miss waking up and thinking I'm in the wrong body, in the wrong time.

I'm headed to where I need to be, and I'm ready for that. I can't wait for that.

So bring it on.

"Oh I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today. Take this music and use it, let it take you away, and be hopeful, hopeful, and he'll make a way. I know it ain't easy but, thats okay, cus we're hopeful."

Night world.
-A.