Sunday
I was up at 8 in the morning to go to breakfast with my white family on their way back down to California. We went to Noah's Bagels. I had the best bagel sandwich I've ever had in my entire life. Came back to godfathers, wasted a bit of my life on Myspace. Watched Step Up 2 for some reason that I could not, for my life, describe. Went to the gym, where I met up with Elmo & Aunty Isha. We did our workout together, it was fun. We were dying, like seriously laughing the entire time. It made the workout go by a little faster. After we left the gym we went to Baja Fresh, & Aunty Isha asked me if I'd considered a facial peel, for the chicken pox scars. I told her I didn't think it was that big of a deal. She said okay. Then I went home, showered real quick & went to church with mom. Man, yall remember when I used to go to church alll the time? I realized last night that I haven't been in that building since Easter. Normally I'd feel really guilty about it but I don't. At all. While I was there I realized why I didn't go anymore. The atmosphere of it is so repressive. The people are great, honestly. But I feel like they're so bound by their idiotic & completely archaic traditions, that if I breathe the wrong way they'll be forced to disown me. I don't know. It was great seeing everybody again though. Chris hugged me till it hurt. I sung my new song for Mike. I chilled with Brandon for a minute, that was cool cus I haven't seen him since Juneteenth. It was all good. Then we came home. In the car, on the way home, mom asked me if I wanted to try the microderm abrasion stuff on my face, for my scars. At which point I was like, "okay, whats up with yall?" She was just like, its not that it looks that bad, its that we're your parents && we want you to look and feel beautiful at all times. I explained to both of them that honestly, I feel better now, then I ever have. When my hair was long and perfect, and my skin was flawless, I always felt like there was something wrong with me. I was obsessed with it. One pimple would send me spiraling into a depression. A missed hair appointment was an anxiety attack. I was a mess. & Honestly ever since I cut my hair && got the chicken pox, I've had to build a confidence that was based on who I actually was, not what people saw when they looked at me. So in all actuality, I feel better now then I did before. A part of me is afraid that if my hair were to be long and perfect, and my skin were to be clear, that I'd fall back into that cycle. I'd hate that. But I am trying the microderm abrasion. Baby steps. Anyway, I went to bed as soon as we got home from church, which was like 11:30. & when I woke up it was...
Monday
Monday. Danny woke me up with a text. He was distraught over some stuff that I won't discuss here. I know how yall lil cycle works. I don't want it getting back to anybody. Anyway, I hella fell asleep on him after about ten minutes, && then mom woke me up with a text cus she'd left some stuff at our house && she needed me to bring it to her at Goddaddy's. So I got up & threw on some clothes to go over there. Got caught up, almost missed my bus, to go meet Chase at the movies. Aunty Isha && Elmo drove me to the bus stop so that I could give Elmo some pointers on the permit test, which she went to take today. She didn't pass it (awwww) but I know she'll get it next time, she's a smart kid. =]. Uhm....Me & Chase met at the theater. We had popcorn & candy & overpriced soda & ice cream & we were happy people. lol uhm, both of the movies were hilarious. I saw damn near everyone I've ever talked to from work. lol it was kinda weird. When we came out, it was freaking raining. Which was fabulous, because its been so hot, but unfabulous, because we had to sit in it for ... like twenty minutes. No fun at all. Edan called me while I was with Chase. Not exactly awkward......exactly. lol no, it was fine. Uhm....then I came home, discovered Aunty Isha had been in the emergency room because her gall bladder was fucked. & now I'm in my closet (long story), blogging, && listening to the new youtube video on Chase's page. This kids style is insane. lmao. He's not a copy, I'll give him that.
I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm really tired. Its only quarter to ten. Absolute shame. I'll talk to you lovely individuals later I suppose.
-A.
