So uhm....for it to have been such a short day, a lot went down as far as my perspective on life && things of the nature. Thats all I'm really worried about. I've noticed people blogging about events, & i do that occasionally, but really, I blog to take a look at what I think about things, analyze why I think it, and try to figure out if my stance on what I'm thinking matches up with where I'm trying to go in life. Thats forward movement. Progressive thinking. You should try it.

Anyway. Today I realized that I'm actually a master at being an aquaintance. I think thats the most important thing Whitney's ever taught me. After that whole shit went down, it finally dawned on me that I do not have to be best friends with everybody. Some of you are just acquaintances. And I'm realizing exactly how many people I've very quietly, and politely, cut the fuck out of my life. And the one's that I've very quietly invited in. && I'm looking at how thats working for me. Man. Kris, D'Angelo, && Elmo have honestly been my only confidants this summer. And I've been perfectly okay with that. But there's some people that are either just coming back, or that I cut out accidentally, that I need back. I need Sam back, with such a passion. &+ my first "real" boyfriend, Jeremy, he's back. & thats such a good look for the simple fact that he's a perfect way to see where I'm coming from and compare it to where I am.

People who've been cut are equally suprising to me, cus my twin, she's an acquaintance now. Honestly. I feel like everything I tell her I have to repeat about four times. And every time I tell her something, she approaches it with the wrong mindstate. Its either pity, or scolding. Neither of which are what a person necessarily wants to hear. I mean, really? Earnest and Brandon both. Acquaintances. We're cool, && I check up on them occasionally, but still, acquaintances. Its just so...trippy. All these people that I used to be literally like family with, I'm looking at now like...wow.

I'm totally not the type to do this, but I feel like I do need to take a second to address it. You need to stop, and take a look at what you're doing, and think about how other people are seeing it, and think about the effect its having on your relationship. Cus you can spend all your time worrying about the next bitch, and how close she is to your man, but in the mean time, you're not paying enough attention to your man, and what he needs. That'll be your undoing before anything I can do. Understand it.

Moving on, I was totally accepted into my night school program. I am worried about the academic integrity of the establishment though. I hate repeating myself, so I'm not going to tell the story here. Ask me about it if you want to know.

I'm not quitting my job! Whoo hoo! I mean, blah. Nevermind. I might be. But I really don't think I am. I really think this can work. Once again, whatever. Thinking positively, moving on.

I lied earlier. Unknowingly, so don't be upset. I think I could take it though. I mean, it wouldn't be easy, but I think I could. I know yall don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just kind of musing. But I do think that I could use an upgrade right about now, && that, with some help, && understanding, && the right person, I could take it.

Thats all folks.
-A.