Why does nobody understand how frustrating this is for me? He's cute dammit!!! && he's feeling me. More than physically. He doesn't know it yet but he's hooked. And then there's her. Gawsh i'm not really that girl am I? This is my self esteem fuckin up. I know yall realize I've spent the last couple months talking about love && relationships and then this nigga comes along. So i'm just jumping at it. Rolling with it. Like can we say fuck morality for eight seconds? Can I just live? I expect so much from myself and I have no fun, and the last time I did it was a disaster. It changed my life and the life of my family forever. So as much as I want to, i'm not sure if I want to take that leap again. & I know the chances of something that terrible happening again is slim but I can't risk it. I'm not ready to risk it. Yall get that right? I'm not wrong am I? Living in fear, possibly, but its understandable right? Blah. I don't even know. Somebody call me an idiot and just tell me what to do. Making decisions is so beyond me right now.

*rip to literary-romance. Yes i'ma keep saying that*

'qone.