"Slowly pullin myself up by my bootstraps
because I'd rather stumble forward
Then continue falling back."

Alyssea just left. She had this poem she wanted us to hear but she couldn't remember the whole thing. It was bomb tho really. I mean, it didn't really take me to a place where I wanted to go, seeing as the whole beginning preference was rape and subsequent pregnancy, but that didn't take away from the bombness of it. Not at all.

My little brothers been in a bad spot lately. He just cries. && he won't tell anybody why. My mom says its normal but I don't think so. I think he's hurtin about somethin that he don't wanna let out. Anywaysz i was walkin by his room on the way to mine && i heard him cryin ; so i'm in here sittin with him till he goes to sleep. Just cus i feel like maybe if I just sit here with him && he knows he has someone that loves him enough to pay him that attention he'll be alright. Even though I also think the light from the computer is gonna keep him from sleeping. I don't know ; it seems like a fair trade to me.

Dumb ass part about this whole thing being the fact that I"m not even writing this blog in the blog right now. I don't even know if I'm going to post it. I just be typin to type. Oh && yea cus Danny said he wanted a long blog. Some shit he had to scroll down for. Aight then Daniel. Here you go.

I'm hella pathetic at the heart of things. I don't see what anybody even sees in me forreal. I'm jus self conscious. But like hella. Everytime somebody say anything i think they talkin about me. && i wish I could at least turn that shit into conceit you know? Like bein one of those people that thinks errthing is about them in a conceited way. on some "i know hoes is talkin bout me" type shit. But i can't. I just get sad. && stop trustin ppl. && shut down on some real shit. Like :-?? fuck ever. && then i just stop talkin. It always happen the same muhfuckin way. I really wish i could get over that shit. I can't tho. Not yet anyway. && then i get mean. Jus like ugh, if ppl gone be mean then i'ma be mean too fuck yall. && end up sayin some shit i don't really mean. Or even worse, some shit that I do really mean but i shouldn'ta said anyway.

I'm hella done talking. issues. but its whatever. I'll get over it. I've posted like three blogs today. && thats your random tidbit of the day.

Duecersz
=]