Lemme tell you somethin bout life sweetie. When everythings perfect, I mean exactly the way you want it, and there's nothing else you could wish for in the world, one of two things is bound to happen. Either shit gets bad again, or you die.


I hate hate hate hate hate when people say, "I hate drama." nigga thass a gotdamn lie, && you oughtta be ashamed. If it wasn't for drama, wouldn't not a one of us be on the planet right now. Cus its drama that keeps you going. Some kind of obstacle that keeps you alive. If you're going along life, successfully, then somebody's gonna hate on you, someone's gonna become an enemy. Because haters && enemies are like the insects of the world. Them niggas is irritatin as shit, but they play a valuable role in our lives. && that don't stop you from killin em errtime you see em, && that don't stop some ppl from bein scared of em, && very few people enjoy bein around em, but they're actually necessary to keep the world turnin. If it wasn't for haters, there'd be no drama, there'd be no obstacles, && then what the hell would you do with your life? No like really. If everything went your way all the time. If you met the perfect person, and they weren't already with someone. If you got the perfect job, without even trying. If school was a breeze. If you had all life's problems worked out. Wouldn't that be boring as shit? What would you do? Or, if you're like me, think about it like this, what would the music be about? ppl make music about problems, if there weren't any problems would there be any music? [ if a tree falls in the forest...] i dunno I'm just pretty much thinkin aloud here but....you see where I'm goin wit this right? You need drama, you need problems, you need obstacles. You need it to survive. So the next time somebody does somethin stupid, just smile. As long as you got a problem you ain't dead yet. As long as something isn't absolutely perfect, you got somethin to live for don't you?

Lmao && i ain't even go to church today. Damn I'm deep.

Well i did go to church, I wasn't listenin to that nigga tho, he's irritating as shit. But lemme tell you the story from the beginning.

So we had choir rehearsal on Thursday, member, I told you, in the blog, with the happiness. Anywaysz, the first song we were doing is called Victory, && its hella too high for me, like i couldn't hit them notes to save my life. SO i told Mike [ choir director ] that, && he was like is it too high for all of yall? cus its three other altos, && they were like nah. So i was like cool if they can hit it I'll just sing in falsetto && it'll sound fine. Right? Makes sense don't it? Cept for this morning, when I got there.....I was the only alto. NONE of these females showed up. So now here I am, singing all by my damn self, && the song was too fuckin high for me. It was a mess!!! Now see, it'd be different if I hadn't openly said the song was too high for me, but these females was like oh no don't trip Ashley we got you. Got me from where heffa? Please tell me where you had me from cus from the choir stand it ain't look like you had me nowhere.

Pshka okay moving on. Now see I'ma perfectionist so the fact that the choir had messed up was reallyyyyyy on mii nerves cus ion like shit like that I just don't [ "don't curse on sunday ashley" -kiss my muhfuckin black ass ya cocksuckin piece a shit ] moving on. So i was like daydreamin all the the sermon I really wasn't payin this nigga no attention, and then this nigga was like, "I understand that I'm on a plane all the time, or I'm busy, and a lot of you don't get to see me very often, so i'd like everyone to form a straigh line coming from the very back, and I'd like to give you the opportunity to shake my hand, because I know that there's a few of you who would really like to shake my hand, so this is your chance, everyone, make the line. Now." Strike 1. Mii nigga don't nobody give a flying FUCK about your hand. If you want to shake somebody's hand it woulda took two seconds to turn that sentence around and say "I don't get the opportunity to shake your hand because I'm so busy and I'd like to take this opportunity to see you." That wouldn'ta took but a minute to say. But no, this nigga had to make it all about him. Aight. Whatever. So then everybody's coming from the back to shake his hand right? && Mother Hill [ the lady who used to do mii nails Mom ] came down and shook his hand, && when she was walkin back up the aisle she saw me && smiled && was like hey sweetie. && i smiled back. Tell me why thissss nigga gone yell at her. Actually yell at her. Mother Hill is like 70 years old and this nigga screams at her. "DON'T TALK TO NOBODY JUST SHAKE MY HAND AND GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT!!!" Strike 2!!! Mii nigga that woman is GROWN if she wanna talk to somebody she gone talk, df you gone say she old enough to be yo damn mama. Sit the fuck down somewhere wit all that ol pompous piece a shit. Okay so now i'm reallyyyyyy like....mmmm. Aight then nigga. Whatever. So THEN I finally get mii turn to go up && shake his hand, && i had kinda seen it before, but I was thinkin maybe it was just me cus I was already kinda irritated wit this nigga, but went I got up there I noticed it was forreal. He wasn't LOOKING at anybody!! No eye contact!! He made all these people. Fucking oldddd ass people, get up, and walk up there to meet his ass, && he wasn't even looking at them. Strike 3 ur out nigga WTF??!!! ughhhhh that was maddd irritating. I was like =| thats a damn shame. thats why I only sing there on the first sunday of the month. && only because michael asked me to. That nigga makes me sick.

This is gonna be a long ass blog.

So then!! when we were packing all the stuff up to leave, [ because mom had a bridal show today and so michael was supposed to take me to TT's in Vancouver ] so we were packing up all the instruments && stuff && this female who has a crush on Mike comes up && sorta elbows me out the way, && then steps on mii foot!! Not on mii toe tho, on mii actual foot, so now i got this big ass cut on mii foot from where this females heel scratched it. ugh!! Stupid bitches these days. Thats why Michael was liike, uhm, yea, I'm taken. thx. Stupid hoe..

Anywaysz. Then we went to TT's. && Jerome [TT husband ] was havin a real bad day. My pastor was there, && he hadda leave before TT even served the food cus he was like I'm not gone have mii kids around all this cussin. So they bounced. Then Mya [ TT daughter ] left, then Joe [ her son ] left. Then TT && Le'Anna was goin back to church for something && ion even member how cus i was half sleep, but Arvon && Jerome almost came to like blows. I ain't never seen Arvon so mad. SO then TT was like oh hell nah I'm not leavin you here wit him cus if I come back its only gone be one of you, && so she took Jerome to church with her. so it was just me && him. Now if this nigga was smart somethin might of happened, but he was madd && he's slow, so it didn't. Darian had told me to just tell him, & i was gonna, fore this nigga got all extra upset, cus i was scared he might kill me. Wasn't nobody around shit, I was in Vancouver && shit. So we was sittin there, madd quiet, watchin 300, then American Gangster. Do you know how long american gangster is? Mii nigga we sat through that wholee movie. In a house by our damn selves, && he ain't say a word to me. Not a word. && Darian wanna know why I won't just tell em I like em. I swear this nigga hate me. Lmao. Nah ion think he hate me, I just think he don't see me that way, && ion wanna make that shit awkward. [er than it already is]. Its just madd irritating cus...iono. I'm impatient. Ion like waiting. This ol slow ass nigga. But at the same time I don't wanna like push it, or force it, cus I gotta habit of doing that & the relationships never work out cus the nigga never felt the same way about me as a did about him, he just felt obligated cus he knew I liked him. So i feel like if i give this enough time, He'll figure something out && decide what he's gonna do. && i mean I guess if he doesn't do anything then it wasn't meant to be. Makes sense right?

Bleh. I'm bout through.

Duecesz
=]