Day one of spring term. I've officially been a PCC student for a year. Cool. Well. It'll be an official year on the second. Speaking of which i'm mad I gotta be at school on April fools day. Let somebody act out. Shiiet. Get stabbed in the neck wit a lead pencil. Then watch me say ha ha ha April Fools at that real blood pourin out your aorta nigga. Fuckin wit me......

So I failed my math class [like i always do] && so my adviser had to have a "talk" with me. So i'm chillin in the waiting room && i see my friend Adi. So we're chillin. Laughin @ the fact the both failed math && was in for the "talk", talkin bout classes && teachers && how white people suck && shit. && then some how I got to talkin bout how I"m movin back to LA in January. This bitch gone say.......ME TOO!! IN DECEMBER!!! What?!?!?!. Pshka me && Adi boutta tear shit up in LA. Watch. That shit made my day.

Well, it almost made my day. What really made my day was that Danny sent me a text to make sure I was breathing. [ :"> ] I'm loved. Granted it was five in the morning when he sent said text but its okay. He meant well.

So I was supposed to go to the dentist today. Well, scratch that. I did go to the dentist today. For my -shivers root canal. But i got there, && they told me that it was another bitch in the chair with the laughing gas so I wasn't gonna get to use it. =| Needless to say I went home.

Where I made enchiladas. That I'm eating now =]

Kris; sorry that your him isn't a him anymore. Thats a shame. I hate it when they get all attached all early. Nigga calm the hell down. Ion even know if i like you all the way yet shiiiiiiiet. Yes yes, I feel you Zula Bell.

Sammy: AT&T W00T W00T!!!! Get Micros. Chile's is bomb. Get the lemon chicken. Or the seafood. The seafood is good. && the lemonade is bomb there too. But not as good as Ruby Tuesdays.

lmao @ me responding to ppl's blogs. Thats kinda sad. You know whats sadder tho? The fact that this is an effective form of communication. Smh.

It was a good day. Sunny && things. Which never happens here. I'm scared its gone snow tomorrow =/. Gods way of saying April Fools. -looks up You ain't cute nigga.

Duecersz
=]

superlateforchurchblog

I AIN'T GO TO SLEEP YO!!!
Sammy neither but she prolly sleep like....now. lmao. I fell asleep for like 45 minutes awhile ago. I'm not even halfway through the day yet. Df was I gonna blog about?

UHm....no!! mii mom just got out the bathroom which means we're leaving. great. sure. fabulous. We're late anyway. I'm all cute for nothin. You wanna know whats gone happen? We gone get there, && church gone end. && she gone decide not to go to TT's, && thats gone be a perfect waste of an outfit. Old people kill me yo.

Blog later? Blog later.

Duecersz
=]

"And at night I walk the street with absolutely no purpose, feeling like I'm worthless. But contrary to my last statement, I feel fine, content with the fact that I know the city's mine."

That songs been on my head lately. Its on the playlist, somewhere. I stole it, from somebody...i think....whatever.

Regal:

I went down there today to see what was up, && ended up staying for three hours filling out tax paper work && watching training videos && I picked up my polo. So yea. Manager said if I call on Tuesday or Wednesday they should be able to tell me when I start. Yay.

Cingular/AT&T

My sim card hasn't come yet. It should've been here Wednesday. If it doesn't come tomorrow I'm calling Cingular. Or AT&T or whatever they wanna call themselves the fuckin faggots. We're already paying for this damn phone which means uhm...it needs to be on. Ya think? I think.

Apple

I fixed my computer. I know ain't none a yall know it was broken but it was && it was getting on mii damn nerves cus I couldn't do anything on it which was extremely irritating but now its better so yay.

I don't have anything else to say.
I don't know why I blog knowing I don't have anything to say.
Sometimes I just feel...
Blah.
Sorry I wasn't on much tonight/last night or whatever.
I was trying to fix this damn computer

>:D< <---for sammy. belated. But yea.


=/

"Another lonely night? Seem like I'm on the side, you only lovin ya mic. I know you gotta get that paper Daddy keep that shit tight, but yo I need some sorta love in my life, you dig me? While politicin wit my sister from New York City, she said she know this ball player, && he think I'm pretty. Sikeeee I'm playin boo, you know its just wit you I'm stayin boo, && when cats be poppin game I don't hear what they sayin boo. When you out there in the world, I'm still your girl. Wit all my classes I don't have the time for life's thrills. So when you sweatin on stage, think of me when you rhyme, and don't be listenin to ya homies they be leadin you blind," [so what you sayin, I could trust you?] "Is you crazy? You my king forreal, but sometimes relationships get ill, no doubt...."

If you are worried bout where I been or who I saw or what club I went to with my homies baby don't worry you know that you got me.

&& then at the end they do that sick drum solo that always reminds me of him. && the past.


I be on some emo ass memory ass shit sometimes lmao.

Duecersz
=]

Written by Bruce:

Okay, so, i'm sitting here on the phone with my future fiancee Ashley, && eating a bag of ritz crackers with Peanut butter, I dropped my freakin knife so now unfortunately I have to wash it, and me being poor as I am we don't have a dishwasher so I have to do it the caveman way. And did anyone know that freakin a three bedroom apartment is going for four thousand ,thats ridiculous.

Anyway, i got a tip for everybody, never put too much peanut butter on your crackers. Cus it gets stuck to the roof of your mouth and its not very comfortable. Oh yea and anybody whos' important enough to have my cell phone number, that fucker is broke so

Damn, now i don't remember where I left off at cus Ashley don't have her damn glasses and I'm writing this blog through her did I mention that?

So lets pick up somewhere else. UHm..I....am addicted to painpills. Yea. Me. Bruce Wright. I am, Bruce Wright. Write that. No Don't Write That!

...

Damn, I have A stomach ache

Ashley: Am I writing that.

Sure.

It is so hard to do anything involving peanut butter.

Uhm.so. today. yea thats what I meant to talk about. Today. This blog makes no sense by the way. So. I got no sleep. I got three hour asleep. I went to sleep at nine, woke up at twelve my mom was like heyyy, wake up. So we went to Kaiser, she picked up some pills. I think they're pills to help me sleep or whatever but uhm....yea. WHat else did we do? UHm...holdup...wait...Oh yea! Went to go pick up my little ass sister. No, we went to subway, I left my freakin journal at Subways. Can yall believe that. && then i almost had a freakin panic attack cus thats the only thing that keeps me sane. And then, we went home. No! Then we went to the kickboxing place. I think. I can't remember if we went there today or yesterday. The kickboxing place was kinda fun.

Ashley: Wow, its a good thing I didn't call you at two when I planned on it.

Two in the what?

Ashley: Two in the afternoon

Oh, no I wasn't here.

Ashley: Yea. Am I supposed to be typing this dialogue?

No, sure. OH. Yea. I have an idea. Erase it all.

Ashley: Nigga.

No forreal, erase it all && lets just type the dialogue so people can see how stupid we can be. No, actually, you're right, lets leave it.

Ashley: Shuttup.

No, you're not supposed to be typing anything right now, you're not supposed to be typing what I"m saying. What are you typing?

[/ bruce blog ]

This nigga is now talking about farting.

[bruce blog]

So, you should go get your glasses.

Ashley: No

No i'm just sayin you should go get em so you don't have to strain your eyes && make em worse

Ashley: I can see

Ashley..

Ashley: No

Ashley...please

Ashley: Shuttup

Ashley....

Ashley: Or i could just say i'm goin to get em, put the phone down for seven seconds, come back, say okay i got em, && have been sittin here the whole time.

Did you write all that down?

Ashley: No

You should have.

Ashley: Okay hold on, shuttup.


.....[&& a bunch of random other conversation that i'm not fucking typing]...

Ashley: Can I end your blog now?

Sure.

[/bruce blog]

THIS.NIGGA.

-continues pointless conversation

Duecersz
=]

Yea aight i'm over the pic thing. Yall know i'm sensitive.
Lmao since nobody wanna be out && out wit what they say in their blogs no more
I'ma speak in code too.
I'ma be like

Awwww @ that one thing
Smh @ that other thing
o0o @ that thing so&&so said
foh @ her.

yall ain't never gone know what the FUCK i'm talkin bout.
Nah not forreal.

But really awww @ that one thing tho. I'm nervous like i'm goin to visit my damn fiancee or some shit. Lmao. I'm happy/nervous/excited for yall. Like really. I WANT A PICATURE HOES >:0!! the sneaker one ;)) lmao yea. thats all i got to say bout that.

&& reallyyyyyyy smh @ that other thing. First Ambee now....Lemme shut up. I'm extremely disappointed in my peanut butter bar right now. Pullin a Khiry messin round wit dumb hoesz. Yesh I said it. Dumb hoesz. [random blake bitch] thats why she look like she got a Pomeranian on her head [/random blake bitch]. To weave, or not to weave? That is the......yea lemme leave that alone.

o0o @ that thing so&&so said. Revenge relationships are the best. lmao. I'm not gone put too much of that out there cus its really none of my business to be exposing. But as far as I'm concerned, if you get with somebody, just cus somebody else got with somebody, && you wanna show them that you're moved on too, Thats dumb. Especially if the person your ex person hooked up wit look like they got a pomeranian on they head. Cus we all know thats gonna last all of two seconds. Thats just how it goes. No haterade, just the truth as far as I can see it. Right me if I'm wrong except for i'm not.

You know what? I'ma go to sleep, fore i start makin ppl mad. Yup yup. Sammy!! When you're 25, i'll be like 22, && i'm comin to visit you in Seoul. Iono how you gone live in Asia && don't eat Sushi tho. Smh you so damn American. -_-

Duecersz
=]

decision:

I'm not lookin for love anymore, i'ma just have as much fun as humanly possible, && i'ma let love find me. Don't that sound smart? It do don't it? Yea

&& even though these short ass blogs get on my nerves, I don't have shit else to say so

Duecersz
=]


=[ Sammy wuss wrong wif my blog picture? Hadda make me feel all self conscious && shit. Thx for that =/

Yuck. blah. I was gonna blog later, cus mii head feels kinda funny, but I'm not doing anything; which has always irritated me, so I figured I'd do it now.

Current Irritation: i'm madd hungry && I can't fucking eat anything worth eating!! [this will be explained momentarily]

So today I was supposed to go to they gym, go to the dentist, and then go sing at this concert thingy majigger this evening.

I woke up when my alarm clock went off ; I just ain't get outta bed. So fuck the gym tho. I'll go tomorrow. Hopefully. I go to the dentist. && when I tell you I hate the dentist I mean like forreal, its a fear, So they hadda gimme the laughin gas cus if they didn't I'd be too nervous to let them niggas anywhere near my mouth. So they got me laid down && i'm starin at the ceiling, and what do I see but a fucking SPIDER in the corner. Ahhh hell nah mii nigga. I was like "uhm, excuse me....kill that." the lady was like oh its harmless. =| i don't recall asking you that. She killed it tho. I was boutta get real ghetto in that bitch. Got me starin at fuckin spiders on the ceiling while you're fucking with my teeth? What? No.

So anyways I'm on the gas && its startin to work or whatever && i was already sleepy so I was just a drifting off into happy places && i was damn near sleep when the lady asks me "how are you feeling?" Me: Like I'm on drugs =]. lol so i was just sittin there and then the dentist comes in && they turn the lil light on or whatever but I still got my eyes closed. Then they give me a damn shot!! Iono df they thought they was doin like I couldn't feel the shot. I shall tell the truth here, in my blog, if nowhere else, I cried like a lil bitch. Dentist: What in the hell made you think she didn't need more gas? Give her more gas, she's in pain!!! Thats my nigga. But anywaysz, then they got to the actual filling part, && i swear, it didn't hurt, but just the sound of that damn machine drill thingy was freakin me the fuck out. Mom: They ain't got smart enough to put a silencer on that thing yet? Don't they no that scares people? Tell em the truth mama! GAwsh. But after a while I did start to feel it, && I was like -raises hand uhm..... So he was like we're almost done.

THEN this nigga thinkin he was slick gone get a big ol damn wrench and proceed to take out my tooth. The one that was broken. They wasn't supposed to do that today, I cant sing with my damn tooth missing. Mii jaws all swollen && shit. So I hadda call && tell the dude running the performance that I can't do it. Actually, I made mom call him, but yea. So now I'm starving, but I can't eat anything hard because its bad for the hole where my tooth used to be. OH!! and because the soup mom made me eat so she could drug me had to be eaten on the right side of my mouth, now my fucking tooth hurts. I go back next monday.

In other news, I discovered why Regal called the other day. Seems they needed a shift covered so they called to see if I could cover it. && where was I? At the dentist. DOWN WITH THE DAMN DENTIST!!!

yuck.

Duecersz.

Told yall i had a picture!!

I'll blog later.

Where's Sam?

Happy Birthday Kris again

-yawn

duecersz
=]

And everything that happens is an excuse for anger.

Ain't that some shit? I liked that && I wanted to remember it so i figure I'd put it down here real quick.

lmao @ when I went to type eighty six i typed eighty sex like eight times. I need some ass yo =/

Duecersz
=]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRIS!!!

The morals that you think you got go out the window when all the other kids are fresh and they got new nintendos..."

So true. Redid the blog. I like the colors. I don't like the header thingy tho. Its too damn long. I might redo it. I might get used to it tho so iono. Now I gotta take a picture that'll fit with the colors. I got a jacket.....-gets camera.

Duecersz
=]

edit:

"Yall don't know my struggle, yall can't catch my hustle, you can't match my hustle, you can't fathom my love dude, lock yaself in a room doin five beats a day for three summers, thats a different world like Cree Summers, I deserve to do these numbers. The kid that made that, deserves that maybach, so many records in my basement, i'm just waiting on my spaceship.." -Kanye.

edit pt 2:

I'm really, really mad that the second I went to go press the publish post button ; mii internet cut, && the shit will not come back. I'm really, really mad at that. -fixes internet.

Today = Craziness. Lemme tell you bout it.

So I had a dentists appointment at 1:15. Mom was supposed to go to Aunty Isha's && pick up the baby && then take me over there, which shoulda given me plenty of time to sleep or what not right? Nah nigga. I'm layin in bed, being madd happy that its a monday && i could just roll around in bed, snugglin && my covers && shit. All on top of the world. && the phone is ringin...but shiiiettt I know ain't none of them niggas callin for me, cus I thought mom was home, so i figured if it was Regal she'd have picked up the phone. Makes sense, right? Right. So after a while I woke up all the way, got on here, checked the myspace real quick, did some phone research && tried to find an online shared calendar cus mii mom said that we all need to have our calendars in the same place so we can see them. Then I had to pee reallyyyyyy bad so i got outta bed.&& then the phone rang so I answered it, Its moms, screamin, talkin bout some, "OKAY YOU CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE BECCAUSE I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU FOR HOURS. I'M IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM WITH YOUR AUNT SO YOU NEED TO GET DRESSED && FIND YOUR WAY OVER TO THE DENTIST FOR YOU APPOINTMENT, THE ADDRESS IS ON MY DESK. BYE." click. so i'm like Uhm.....but whatever. So i get on the lil website for the train schedule && shitm turns out I'ma be hellaaaa late for mii appointment so I call em && let em know or whatever. Then i leave to go get on the bus. Anyways, because the phone has a full keyboard, sometimes I just randomly type shit on it thats kinda like a blog but way to short to be one. Yup. The blog I wrote on the bus goes as follows:

[ blackberry ]

So I'm sittin on the train, lookin raggedy as hell; && half sleep really. Why I open my eyes && see that the nigga in front of e and the nigga across from me are both sexy as hell. Thats bout a bitch. They both just got off. -sadness. [/blog]

[/ blackberry ]

I was rather upset, seeing as they were rather sexiful. Anywaysz, I get to the Dentist, I'm mad late, i get in there, they tell me I need three fillings, an extraction && a root canal. I cried. I hate the dentist. So much. Really. Truly. I hate it. But anywaysz. Tomorrow at 1:30 I get to go back && get the fillings taken care of.

So i come home, moms here, she tells me Aunty Isha has to have surgery. Gall stones. [ look it up ]. I tell her about the tooth stuff. Then we remember that I have a choir rehearsal tonight for a performance thats tomorrow that mom just remembered she can't take me to because she has a facial scheduled which means I'm gonna be on the bus, but I probably won't be out of the dentist till four && i gotta be at the church at seven. so yea, if you don't hear from me at all tomorrow, I'm really sorry. The phone should be on tomorrow tho so I might be on. You never know.

&& while I was at the dentist, Regal called about my hours. They didn't leave a message. But when I called them back, the asshole at the window was like, "oh, well i don't know who called you or why but the managers on break so I guess I'll have them call you back." EXCEPT FOR NOW I'M LEAVING!!! ahh this sucks. Finally get my damn hours and these niggas wanna be on some bullshit. Sheesh.

And of course now, my tooth hurts.

Wanna see the letter I wrote a certain someone yesterday while I was at TT's? -takes it out of my wallet

B,

like seriously, you confuse the hell outta me. Cus when I think about it, I know I shouldn't like you. You're too childish for me. You play too much && when you don't get your way you throw temper tantrums like you're Le'Anna's age of some shit. & when i think about that, I think its not wa Y could like you ; you're realy not my type. But when I'm around you, that somethign entirely different. You make me feel some kinda way I cn't control. Every time I'm with you I feel like we should try again, knowing dan well we shouldn't cus it didin't work the first time. So i don't really know what to do. Don't know if I should follow my head or what I'm feelin cus it seems like either way I'm screwed.

& then I don't really now how you feel. & i don't wanna ask & put myself out there just so you could end up makin me feel stupid. I probably won't evn gie you this letter. I'm just sayin that if you were ever wondering ig I have feelings for you,I definitely do, I just don't know what I should do about them.

-Ashley

-folds, && puts back in wallet

"Torn in between the two, cus I really wanna be with you, but somethings telling me I should leave you alone..."

Duecersz
=]

To Whom It May Concern:

I don't do love triangles, so one of yall niggas gone have to shake. Hate to tell you this way, but its the only way I know how really so uhm....draw straws or some shit but when I wake up in the morning, one a yall needa hop the fuck up off my mind. I ain't got enough space for this bullshit yo. Back back forth && forth like Aaliyah or some bullshit. Got me fucked up. [ B: I'm sorry for kicking you in the face ; I didn't mean to. A: I'm sorry for kneeing you in the eye ; that was actually your fault. Df you have your eye all near my knee for nigga? ]

I'm so violent...

With All The Love I Can Muster,
Ashley.



"I just wonder, do you ever think of me anymore? Do you?"

Duecersz
=]

[ .Pizza Roll. ]: when u gone write a book real rap =|

Soon as I wouldn't feel like a hypocrite. Single people writin books on relationships is like fat people advertisin weight loss plans. Uhm....nigga obviously it was a flaw in your arrangment of things cus THAT DON'T MAKE NO DAMN SENSE!! lmao. But I am gonna write one tho.

So today was super bombish. 1) we went to vancouver wit TT, Jerome, Le'Anna & [ :"> ] Arvon. Today was full of firsts for him. Cus i'ma tell you, okay, I've been to this nigga house at least once a week since before my birthday sometime in December, && I've never seen him in anything other than basketball shorts && a T. Today when we got there this nigga had clothes on. Me && mom were like woahh. Then he went out with us. We were like, woahhhhh. Then he SPOKE. We were like WOAHHHHHH. lmao. he doesn't talk when he's around people he doesn't know. This includes all public places. Don't ask me what I'ma do with this nigga as much as I talk. Me && mom both agree that we think today he finally figured out I like him. No Darian I didn't tell him, I was scared. Whatever yo shit. Anywaysz, now that he knows I like him, he can figure out if he likes me, && we can move the hell on. It'll be just my luck this nigga decide he wanna do somethin come January 09 when i'm movin. Eww. Moving on. 2) Me && Mom && Jon was bein black playin Marco Polo in target. We started in the shoe section && it was kinda like hide && seek. That shit was maddddd fun. 3) We went to this bomb ass resturaunt called Juan Colorado && ate like some damn pigs. 4) We went to see Horton Hears A Who. 5) My phone is officially activated, I'm just waiting for them to mail me out my sim card. It should be here Tuesday. phone number's 448 5560. get @ me for the area code. =P

Anywaysz. I had planned on going to bed when we first got home two hours ago, but I was talkin to Sam && got distracted. Now i can barely keep my eyes open So i'ma go wash this damn makeup off && go to sleep. I'ma try really really hard to go to the gym in the morning, I've been slackin. But w/e.


I'ma need you to look at that smile tho
=]

Duecersz

Edit: For those who care ; I really really should start work Friday. Really. =/

Today: Went to school to drop off mii books, went to Regal to see why i'm not on the schedule, went to Cingular to see about my phone. Went to Jon's school for his conference, went to Barnes && Noble && bought books, went to goddaddy && aunty isha's to see if they'd put me on their phone plan, came home, made sammy's bday vid, sent sammy her bday vid, talked to sammy about her bday vid, deleted my downelink, played neopets, [ currently ] blogging. && then i'm going to sleep.

Tomorrow: Gym. Clean my room. Clean the bathroom. Clean the kitchen. Call goddaddy to see if they're gonna put me on the plan or not. Read. Write. Organize. Sleep some more.

Purpose of this blog: I feel weird if I don't write one so I'm writing one.

AnnMarie's gonna buy herself a Razor tomorrow. I'm really mad at that. This kid is working her ass of with school and walking ppl's dogs cus she wants a sidekick, && its really upsetting me that she's settling for a Razor. I even told her I'd match whatever she made, so that she could have enough to pay for the sidekick when she got ready to, but I guess she got impatient, so her friends gonna sell her a Razor for 45 bucks. She's still gotta get the thing activated. More power to her I suppose. Elmo's gonna get her state ID, so if goddaddy doesn't put me on his plan I'll just steal her identity for a little while && then get this damn phone turned on. So yea by next Tuesday I should have a phone.

I wonder what the fuck is up with Regal? Cus it don't make no damn sense that they hired me but they won't start me working. Maybe i just don't know how this shit works...being new to this end of the entertainment industry? Ehh, I guess.

G'night.
=]

FUCK ALL THAT I'M ON MY GOSPEL RIGHT NOW!!



&& yesh I just said fuck in a blog wif gospel music. You've done more contradictory shit in your life so shut the FUCK up.

Anywaysz...today was a wonderful wonderful dayyyyyyy. I got an A on mii last finallll, I know for a fact cus he tolddd meeeeee. Then I went to lunch with mii other Ashleyyyyyy, then we talked to random ppl on the bus about bitchinessss....And we talked shit about this one girl who was madd Russian but was tryna act black. Omgah. But her boyfriend [ who was black ] was FINEEEEEEEEE. lord I was gonna cry. I was like but wait.what.wait.why.ughhhhhh!!!

Justin came to school HELLAAA FUCKING HIGH!!!! omgahh. he walked into our health final twenty minutes late. He ain't have a pencil. He couldn't find the sharpener. He tripped over a chair on his way back to his seat. Then in our second final me && Ashley was talkin shit about how high he was. Then this nigga hadda get up && do his presentation. && it was on an argumentative essay that we had to write. We got up, && this nigga said. Okay, watch this tho. This nigga said. Lawdddd. He said. "I did my paper on the controversial topic of legalizing marijuana. I'm all for it!!" we FELL OUT!!yo we was damn near on the floorr!!! The teacher was bout ready to kick us out && shit we was like "i'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't breathe, the air, it left me, its back now. Aight." That shit was comedy.

"i'ma blog that shit. Right. Now." So i'm on the phone with Bruce right? And this nigga tellin me about his day. && he said he was at job corp. && this female was singin, && she started singin the song I used to sing to him to get him to sleep all the time. Tell me why this nigga walked up to her && said "Excuse me beautiful, I'ma need you to stop singin right now. Its not that you're bad, its just that you sound like my ex girlfriend that died." =|!!!!! THIS NIGGA KILLED ME!!! I AM DECEASED RIGHT NOW!!! I can't believe this nigga said I was dead.

"Wattup Tessa, I love ya like my own mama, && ya daughters gettin grown mama, && me I'm just here workin, waitin, patient, for her to be ready to love && leave alone drama cus I don't really wanna fight no more, && I don't wanna diss niggas when I write no more, && I don't wanna bring chicks to the crib to watch a flick in the basement on the bed wit dim lights no more...Nah I'm losin the feelin, they losin appeal, they needa step it up like Prince wit shoes on the ceilin...."

That nigga Drake hit me wit that today. I'd heard it before but it hit me today. Ion really wanna fight no more, so i'm just sittin, waitin, patient, for you to be ready to love && leave alone drama. When you grow up I'll be around. Trust.

Duecersz
=]

Blog of substance? Nah, not really

So today i was immersing myself in the lameness that is Save The Last Dance 2. I knew it was gone be lame, but I was in the mood to laugh at the lameness of shit, so I was watchin it. I"m kinda mad cus it wasn't even like a sequel, the bitch they got to play Sarah didn't even do none of the shit Julia Styles. I was like =| Julia Styles wouldn't even say that. 8-| @ lame ass sequels. There were, however, three good parts about the movie. 1) Columbus Short was the male lead. That nigga is sexy. Its a shame he like white girls. But uhm....he's sexy. And, therefore, the movie was bearable. 2) Ne-yo was in it, he sang, && cracked a couple jokes. The nigga is not an actor but he is an entertainer. I dunno, maybe in the future he'll change mii mind. And 3) [ the best thing if you ask me ] while they were doing lame instrumentals as the lil background music, they did one lil instrumental that wasn't, but reminded me of, the song that should be playing on mii blog right now. Sunshine to the Rain by Scarface ft. Anthony Hamilton && Miri Ben-Ari.

Sunshine to the rain
When it comes it goes again
Even when the story ends
Just turn the page and begin again
Sunshine on cloudy days
Don't hate me I'll never change
Thankful I was made this way
Your sunshine for cloudy days

Love that song yo. Mad I almost forgot about it.

I've been talking to my old ex bestfriend Jill again lately. If you go back to that one hella long blog about Bruce you'll get a lil bit about her. We got back to talkin, its been pretty cool. We talked a lot about why we started talking, and whether or not we honestly thought we could talk again. Difference between me && Jill && me && whitney [ on a friendship level only ]: 1) Me && Whitney's relationship was largely based on lies. We told each other what we wanted to hear instead of what was real. Me && Jill have never had that problem. We've been through some fucked up shit but we've always been able to acknowledge that it was some fucked up shit && move on. I'm glad to have her back in mii life even if its not all the way how it was before.

Uhm...I think I'm done now. Two finals tomorrow but they're the easy ones so I'm not worried. I stilll haven't started work yet. I called to see if I'm on the schedule && they were like no. Uhm...okay...cept for I need a check tho mii nigga. Ugh.

Duecersz
=]

"But I Don't Want Comfort. I want God, I Want Poetry, I Want Real Danger, I Want Freedom, I Want Goodness, I Want Sin." -- Aldous Huxley

Bomb.com? Bomb.com.

Brb mii mommy's calling me..

Aight I'm back. Bleh @ she wants me to clean the kitchen. Now ma? Can't I do it later ma? Yuck. Fine. Okayyy....

Daylight savins got me fucked up. Its 7:03 && the sun is still up. Kris been tellin me to do this paper. I'm thinkin I got all day. Lmao I have four hours. Yuckkkkk. Its gotta be perfectness too cus this is mii final grade so it can't be no half ass, "oh this is just something i threw together 15 minutes ago" type paper. Its gotta be bomb. All nighter? Hell no.

Redid mii blog. Say it with me now [ OCD ]. I had wanted to do something maddd...different. && ended up with this. lmao. I might redo it later on tonight. IF i get mii paper done in a timely fashion.

I have nothing to say. You may have noticed if you actually pay attention that I always blog before I write papers. They always come out pretty good too. So...yea, tradition && all.

Duecersz
=]

So its 4:24 in the morning. I couldn't sleep. Mii alarm clocks gonna go off in 26 minutes. && You know what I'ma do? shut that bitch off. But anywaysz.

I was catching up on mii blog reading, && i was mad that sammy doesn't have an older posts button, so my old nosy ass went && found the link to get to her older posts. && then I saw that it was really hella easy to go to any date or whatever that you wanted. So because Sammy && Danny are madd cute to me, && i be likin to read the lil [ disgusting ] cute ass shit they have to say to/bout each other, I typed in their anni date [ 11-08-07 ] && you know what popped up?

"But lmfao wow Daniel /:) I never thought I'd get close wit that dude. && alotta ppl say when he left su he changed i think he left su because he changed. && thas good cuz he's a good friend to me && my gf. Big ups to you Stinka; Sammy loves you muchos."

Its funny to me how shit works. I dunno. Its just funny.

But bleh. Iono why I posted that. Like I told Sam earlier, i ain't had no sleep, so I might as well be on crack. && if you're a stalker reading this like [ damn she's a stalker, she went to this bitch olderrr posts yo!!! ] stop, && take a look at what you're doing right now. Lmao you jus mad you ain't think of it first. Mhm. =p

-changes blog songs

Duecesz
=]

=/ usually I'm cool wit bein a female. Like I never randomly wish I was a nigga so I could be bigger or stronger or run faster or nunna that shit. Cept, that is, until this random ass vaginal bleeding starts. =|

Can we talk bad timing? Finals week + First week of work + mom's sick + Jon's sick + Ree's ghost = bad ass timing yo!!!. But its whatever tho. I'll be alright. Soon as one of these bitches run to the store && get me some damn pretzels that I could watch a movie wit.

Pretzels = ♥;

&& fuck anything I was supposed to be doin today cus i'm not even gone be able to move till tomorrow afternoon. Leg cramps are a bitch yesh indeed they are.

Sammy deleted her Myspace, Danny's gone delete his myspace, Earnest made a new myspace. The time of myspace has officially ended lmao. It had its run.

Speaking of earnest, he got a tattoo of a house =|. Sure. okay. it symbolizes the "pain" he went through and how he's happy now that he's out. Right. Take a picture of it so I can submit it to Asylum [ insider ]

-yells for Jon to get me some pretzels
What movie should I watch yall?

=]
Duecesz

Aight yo so its 6:32 in the morning, right? On a Sunday morning, feel me? So you prolly wonderin df I'm doin even bein awake none the less tryna put together coherent thoughts so yall could read em && shit, right? Yea, me too. But see what had happened was, since mii scheduled changed, I gotta go to bed maddd earlier and wake up maddd earlier if I wanna do all the shit I wanna do. Like i wanna start going back to the gym. Cus, even though it don't look it [&& that wasn't even conceited cus it really don't look it] I'm startin to get fat. Now you know how taller people could get a lil fat cus it don't really look fat, it jus look kinda healthy? Nah nigga I'm 5'2" i start gettin fat it starts lookin fat && i ain't havin that, hence the whole gym thing. So i was gonna go this mornin at 5. why five? cus i needa get myself on my schedule && if I'm gonna go during the week then five is when I'd have to go to make errthing else fit. Capisce? Okay so now that we're all on the same page...

I woke up this mornin at 5:09 all fulla energy or whatever like aight i'ma go to the gym. But I gotta walk over there so I had gone to open the door to see how cold it was outside or what not, right? Christie woke up talkin bout some Ashley is that you? Female its five in the mornin go to sleep. She's like what are you doing? I'm like going to the gym. She's like its like five in the morning. I'm like I know. She's like so why are you going to the gym? I was like to exercise. She was like don't get smart I'm too sleepy to hit you. I was like so isn't this the best time to get smart? [ then i ran, in case she decided to throw some shit ]. Then she was like wait till 7 Ashley. So i'm waitin. I was lookin at phones. Cus i'ma start off with the blackberry since Aunty Isha's gonna give it to me for free. Problem is its too many damn options. If i get the blackberry I can go on Sprint, Tmobile, or Cingular (i'm mad just around the time errbody get used to sayin cingular, at&t bitch ass wanna pop back up) Cus I don't wanna keep that blackberry forever. So i'm thinkin I'ma go back to sprint cus a) I might be able to get mii old phone number back && b) the phone I wanna upgrade to is on sprint. Cept for that bitch is expensive tho. But whatever I'll get to it.

I had this great dream that I bought mii mommmy a car for her birthday. =| cept for if this bitch don't have a car by her birthday she don't even deserve one. She's not even worthy. (i won't be thinkin that if november roll around && she still ain't got a car tho, cus thats mii mom, so I could talk shit). Anywaysz yups, i boughtededed her a car. It was a silver 04 Jeep Grand Cherokee. She likedededed it.Everybody was happy. -sighs good times.

So i'm blogging to see if I could pass twenty minutes so when I"m done i could just go to the gym before I fall back to sleep cus then I'ma be mad. This female hadda fuck mii whole shit up. Ugh.

lmao @ this bitch that used to go to my oldddd high school graduated and moved all the way to virginia to go to community college. for what exactly might I ask, did you move all the way from Los Angeles california to Hampton Virginia for? Cus you coulda gone to community college out here. Yo granny better a been dyin or some shit. ( NOT that I want anybody's granny to dieeee, I'm jus sayin it shoulda been a more viable reason then thats where she was going to school at cus thats said, I hope she got fam in VA)

I'm mad mii mom's alarm on her phone just went off. Do this mean its late enough for me to go the gym shit. && no I"m actually not that excited to go to the gym. Really I'm not. I'ma get there and wanna go the hell back home. But shiiiiiietttt nigga I woke up at 5 IN THE MUHFUCKIN MORNIN YO!!! I better be doin somethinnnnnn shit. Sittin here bloggin at no damn 6:46 in the morning. I coulda blogged later. I coulda blogged last night. I coulda been sleep now. This is some bullshit yo.

Anywaysz I give up on tryna talk till seven cus I done hella ran outta shit to say. -redoes blog

Duecesz
=]

-sigh ; its 11:45. I don't have anything to say. So listen to me ramble.

People with more than one blog confuse the shit outta me. Like whats the point? Its a blog yo, write whatever the fuck you want wherever the fuck you want about whoever the fuck you want. Why separate it? Like oh I'ma talk about this shit here && this shit here. Cus I mean in reality, the people that actually read it is gone read it wherever you post it at but makin new blogs is just more links to remember. && i'm not hatin on it or nothin I mean shit if it works for you do it. I'm just saying that I'm confused. It doesn't make any sense to me. You know I'm slow.

-hums settle for my love. I'm hella glad Daniel's back. Not as glad as like Sam. But I'm glad. Yahoo's hella lame as it is but without mii lil brother it was almost unbearable. Can't wait till I get mii phone. Either we're text message buddies or you're non existent. Cept for the pizza roll. I'ma have to be neomailin from mii phone or some shit. [ yu still gone start workin again soon? yu should get a phone :) ] But anywaysz, yesh yesh, danny && sammy are still goin strong, kris && darian can have a conversation without killin each other, all is right in the world. now where.the.fuck. is mine at? Yea moving on.

My mother is suffering from a bit of bitchassness today. Smh its a shame to see the good ones go. Cus see I got the job right? But they need mii references so I was like I'll do em && mom was like no cus you've got finals don't trip I'll take care of it. That was wednesday. Now I mean its cool I'm thinkin I'll just turn em in today. But this female gone say, okay I'ma go get your signatures on your reference slips today but then I'ma go chill wit some people so I won't be back till 11. Bitch what? You never chill with anybody. You picked today the day I have shit to get done, to decide you wanted to chill? Stop fuckin playin. So i'm like, uhhhh....I need those slips turned in by six. Then she wanna get a lil attitude like well excuse me for having a life. A life? Bitch please!! The car you drivin ain't yours, your older brother is paying your rent and you wanna talk about havin a life? Get a job!! && if you ain't gone get one shit at least let mee have one. Df kinda selfish bullshit. This the same shit that happened last time if you don't remember. I was workin best buy && She got mad cus I had a job && she didn't && made me quit. Bull.shit.

Now that lil rant && rave is over I was gonna say something.......But I don't remember

-links vent blogs

Duecesz
=]

"ITS 50 A.K.A. FERRARI F-50"

Lmao yall needa get a damn life yo. That shit was funny tho. But not that funny. Needa make like Keyshia Cole && Let It Go. Anywayz, "I can't believe that today was a good day , ooh wahh ooooooh!!" lmao. I got like noooooo sleep last night, I was on the phone till like 2 in the morning. Then i did go to sleep, then I went to class && everybody told me how genius I was. Oh, speaking of the fact that everyone at school thinks I'm so smart, mii mom called me ignorant yesterday. She said I got out here && got ignorant. Thats really been on mii mind cus I can see how she's right. I mean like, she's not all the way right but I can see where she's coming from. I mean like where I grew up, it wasn't bad to be smart. Like thats what you did. But then sophomore year I transferred to CATCH ; && there I kinda was actin like i was stupid, cus if you was too smart round there ppl got attitudes. && when ppl got attitudes at CATCH somebody ended up either shot or fucked the fuck up. So yea, I did mii lil thing, ain't answer too many questions or whatever. Then we moved up here &&, no lie, I had a major identity crisis. Cus it was like I ain't know how to be black without being stupid, cus the majority of black people I know aren't book smart. I mean you know, half of em is rappers so they got a decent vocabulary, not that they know how to spell the words they use, but you know what I mean. They were smart for where they were but it wasn't intelligence on a universal level. && So i guess I got out here && started emulating what I saw at CATCH, I was actin like some people I didn't even really like so I could be accepted. && the worst part was, I still wasn't. Because thefact of the matter is, I'm smart, so even when I'm tryna act stupid, it shows. && so I went through all that work to look like I was an approachable, cool, laid back, chill type person, when in reality, I'm hella not. I'm difficult. I have high standards as far as who I talk to, who I trust in. You gotta be able to have an intelligent conversation && if you can't well then I'm sorry baby boo but you gotta go. But i let those standards slip out here, because I didn't know anybody so I figured for the sake of making friends, I'd act like something I wasn't. I hate that I do that, really I do. Like damn Ashley everytime you go somewhere you don't know anybody you gone turn into another person? Who the hell are you then? Damn good question. Who the hell am I? I'll be working on that.

Anywaysz, tonight mii lil brother had a mini play thing. It was about how all the tight ass animals in the forest was in groups of three && shit, && then this one group of bears it was only two of em, so errbody hadda stop what they was doin to find the third bear, cus they couldn't have them niggas walkin around wit just two bears that wasn't even okay. I videotaped it but the clip I taped was like 6 minutes long so it won't upload anywhere but youtube, && i dun wanna put it there cus then it'll lag. But anywaysz. They were singing and shit. It was cute as hell. Then after that mii lil sister had a band concert, she plays the flute. Her middle school is divided into red hall, green hall, && blue hall, && errtime we go to one of them damn band concerts me && mom are like, "can we get Ree switched to red hall?" Cus the red hall band is bomb yo!!! && ree is actually realllyyyyyyy good at the flute. But she's in green hall && green hall band is always ass. Like consistently. Oh but while we was listenin Jon got real antsy so I let him draw in mii notebook. This lil nigga is good!! I might take some pictures && post em or link em or whatever. Then after that I went to Goddaddy && aunty Isha's to set up mii bank account, which didn't work, so I gotta go back in the morning [ fuckshitdamngodwhy? ] but while I was over there I made the bombest sandwich ever && got to play with mii dog so it was cool.

Now mii tooth hurts like a bitch so I'm boutta go take a pill for it && then i dunno...maybe read or do some homework or something && then go to sleep since i gotta be up in the morning to go back to this niggas house to set this account up. Oh yea && just on the update tip; i should start work monday. Go who? Go me. Thats right.

"I RUN NEW YORK!!!"

Yea I'm pretty sure I'm done this time. Lmao. Pic of the day:


Duecesz
=]

Understand that I'm so tired I can barely see right now.

I GOT THE JOB!!!

.
no its not a big deal. Trust me its really not but its important to me because now I can start makin moves like I want && not moves like mii mommy can afford, feel me? So yea, I'ma be the chick that hands you your popcorn at the movies and charges you way too much. I think I could be okay with that.

I'm mad I just realized this morning that finals are next week. I thought I had an extra week that I really ain't got. I'm like whoo! Wow. Okay. && plus you know end of the term all the damn projects are due. I'm talkin like 3 papers. like 10 random ass math assignments. Oops no wait four paper, two tests, and one random presentation. I mean ain't none of it really hard to do. Cept for that math, && even that ain't hard, its jus a lot of it [ make up work && shit, i like to ditch. ]. So yea, now I gotta get that shit togther. But its cool cus its almost over && then i get to pretend I have a life for a minute.

I'm mad mii yahoo been spazzin lately. Like it'll randomly log me out, && when it logs me back in, nobodyyyyy will be online. && i know everybody still there cus they be im'n me && shit. So i'm like /:) all these niggas when invisible when i logged off? This ain't no damn surprise party nigga you betta show yaself shit. Fuck yahoo. Iss hella racist yo. -Tells Tirzah. I'm mad I actually know somebody that works for yahoo. Think ion be complainin like a bitch? She be like get the fuck off it then. =| that is not an okay thing to say mii nigga.

ON the other hand, I'm maddd happy I deleted everybody off yahoo. Lmao i could list all the ppl on mii yahoo right now, && i ain't got nobody I don't talk to. I love that =D Cus i mean the way I see it, if I can't randomly get in ur box like \:D/ i got a jobbbbbb I got a jobbbbb \:D/, && you ain't gone dance wit me...it ain't no point of you being on mii list. You're existance is real unnecessary. Unnecessary is pretty much the word of the night .

"Fuck a medic, we gone call yo ass a taxi cab, bleedin so hard you need a lifesize maxi pad, so flip the script and tell yo woman its yo time of the month. Ak-47 for the niggas thats really lookin for heaven && a nine for you chumps." That was stuck in mii head sorry. Luda stupid.

Uhm...I was gone say something else but I started talkin to Darian && now I hella don't remember what it was. I'm madd sleeepyyyyy. So i guess I'ma do like Darian say && take mii ass to sleep. I'll have mii phone in three weeks tops, so don't forget to ask me for the number cus I sure as hell won't remember to give it to you. What? Yea.

Duecesz.
OH!!!!! I MEMBER!!!
-dead @ me && 50 cent being morphed
Its a moment there, where we're madd sexii lmao looka

-comes back to life
-dies again

=]

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Blog 69. I feel like i should say somethin nasty. Hmmmmmmmm...-thinks......nah. how bout we skip that? Redid the blog. the old one was gettin a lil tired. Finally decided to go head && put a playlist back on the blog. Feel kinda like a traitor tho. The thing i hate bout the playlists is that sometimes i don't be in that mood when i be bloggin, so that shit work mii nerves when i read it over. Versus if I post it individually, the mood is always gone be right. Sensical? I think so. && if it ain't who gives a shit cus this is mii blog. =D

I think Sammy's net finally cut. moment of silence. I'ma miss her till she come back. She ain't get to wish mii luck on mii interview today =[. I still think I did kinda bomb tho. I hope i get it. It ain't nothin major, just a movie theatre gig. But shit I need somethin. I'm mad i was in the book store today && it was this book called something to blog about, && i really almost picked that shit up && started readin it. Lmao I know damn well i'm not the only one who be feelin the need to blog but don't have shit to say. Or you'll be goin about your day as usual && some shit'll happen && you'll be like "i'm definitely bloggin that shit". lmao! lame as it is, we all do it.

I need a new blog counter, mine was ugly. I loved it, cus it told you everythingggggg. [ lmao i'll never forget Kris. this female said -stops going on ppls pages ] Anywaysz, i need a new one, cus I can't be havin no ugly blog counter. Everything has to be purtifull like duuuuh.

[Imagine me && you...doing things that lovers do....] I wanna say some shit like, "i'ma be happy no matter what because my joy is not predicated on others," or some mature shit like that. But if I can't be vulnerable in mii own blog then whats the point? I be needin somebody sometimes. To just like cake on the phone wit and feel safe around. Somebody to tell about mii day and have a mature conversation with. I want a mature relationship. And no, I'm not gone go out and search adn scour the earth for it. I'ma wait for it to come to me. Not because [darian] females want the nigga to do everything[/darian], just because I have a habit of picking the wrong person, just because I want a person, and the only way I know of to prevent that from happening, is to let a person come to me. I don't know, maybe thats old fashioned, or maybe I'm just scary, or whatever. But thats me && thats how its gonna be.

I'ma shuttup now
Duecesz
=]

[phone convo]

Him: Hello, is this Ashley?
Me: Yea, hold on I'll give Jon the phone
Him: I want to talk to you
Me: I don't have time for you
Him: I just wanted to say thank you
Me: For?
Him: For being mature about the situation. You coulda done a lotta fucked up stuff. You coulda bad mouthed me in front of my son.
Me: You don't know what I say to him.
Him: I know he still loves me, && you coulda really messed that up for me.
Me: Yea okay, hold on I'll give the phone to Jonathan.
Him: ....alright.

[ / phone conversation ]


Most words we've said to each other since him && mii mom officially broke up in September 03. I think I did okay. Excuse me while I......go stare at a wall or something.

[i.will.not.cry.i.will.not.cry.i.will.not.cry.i.will.not.cry.i.will.not.cry.i.will.not.
cry.i.will.not......]

So i got an interview @ Regal Cinema tomorrow evening. Wish me luck =]. I'm madd happy becauseeee I feel like on the applications I look like an idiot but in person...yall know. I'm actually pretty smart, && good at stuff....& stuff. lmao. Yea you know what I mean. && this would be so great cus then i'd have a job!!! Me && mom was on the phone screamin like some idiots. Anywaysz. I'ma have to go to church on Sunday && pray extra. lmao thass a shame. But you know what I mean. Antywayszzzz I actually really don't have anything to blog. I just wanted to let yall know. Update I guess. Gawsh life is boring. && i needa take picturess..cus i haven't lately. I'm feelin that camera whore itch. O0o0o yea Sammy if you're readin this I accepted all the friend requests on the layout site. Now we just need to uhm...like start gettin on it again. Some of them bitches was from like february 16th && shit i was like =| wow. Yea, yall know i like to ramble. && blahdee blahdee blah....


Duecesz.

PS.
dude i'm talking to on myspace, who will never read this, would like to be included as, and i quote "the really hot guy with the nice butt." there ya go love. =D

"I heard like a group of cows that all ya enemies wanna shoot you down they got Ak-47's && a buncha mac 11s, semi automatic weapons that produce Ka-pows." Sometimes, I be wantin to start a fight with somebody so yall blogs could be interesting again. That would just be lovely, don't you think?

"Word on the street is, they all got heaters, they gone hit you up, yeen even gone see it. You gotta lotta money I ain't tryna be funny, but they sayin where you goin yeen even gone need it." Me && Sam gone rob a bank. We need some money shit. I'm glad her food came today. Mine come on Sunday. Till then its meatloaf && leftover pizza mii nigga. Interview tomorrow. Yaaaaay!! The way I'm goin I might needa get mii phone turned on before I get the job cus uhmm....even though I hate the bitches wit a passion that you can't find in stores, I'm needin a phone.

"They see you ridin round, shinin wit ya fine round diamonds, pretty green eyed lady. Been on the sideline poutin while you in the primetime poppin; hungry niggas wanna piece of your pastry." Mii white boy [ omgah...remind me to stop callinnggg him that ] Rephrase: Justin let me down today. I told him to bring me the worksheet from Monday so I could do mii homework. So when i go ask him where my shit is he gone be like "oh, soryyyyy." =| && thats all good && well cept for now I can't do mii homework so I get to look like an idiot. Thanks. =D but to make it up to me he bought me skittles. Mann...white ppl just know the way to my heart don't they? [ gotta stop bein racist. Got.tostop.being.racist. ]

"I suggest you protect your bakery cus they comin for yo head && there's a bounty on the chain thass hangin from yo neckk..." =[ so when I was in Chicago this summer, mii mommy bought me && whitney mathing pearl necklaces. Cus you know we had our cheap lil fake pearls from claires that we never took off && mii mom was like smh yall necks gone turn green shit, so she bought us some real ones. [ having money's not everything ; not having it is =/ ] but anywaysz. The chain on em is hella thin so they get knotted up real easy, && mine has hella knots in it so I gotta remember to take it to the jewelry store to get the chain straightened out so I could wear it again because that shit is bomb && I miss wearing it. Yup yup =] Anywaysz, i wrote that so some loyal blog reader could get in mii box like "Ashley, did you fix your pearl yet?" So i could be like "oh shit!!" && then go do it. Thats your mission, if you choose to accept it.

"The Coolest Nigga, What?! The Coolest Nigga, What?! The Coolest Nigga, What?! Hustla 4 Lyyfeeeee!!!" No Purpose to this blog. I jus had the song stuck in mii head really. =]

Time to redo mii layout? Nahhh ion think so. I like this one. Its happy =].

Anywaysz. I hella almost went to sleep without blogging. Why? Cus today was madd boring. Like seriously nothing happened. Woke up, went to school, came home, talked to yall. The end. Ain't do mii homework for shit cus I'm lazy so i'll do it tomorrow. I been madd tired the past couple days so I'm goin to bed early so I could be fresh && shit for tomorrow.

I think I be decidin I like ppl just to have the feeling. Ain't that shit sad? Cus i be wonderin like if I really liked all the people I claim to like, I wouldn't bounce around so much. I wouldn't be so impatient. I mean if its worthwhile I should be able to wait for it right? Right. So don't listen to me when I say I have a crush anymore. I'ma crush slut. I got crushes on errbody. I guess I'm working on that. lmao. Lemme rephrase. I guess I'm going to start trying to work on that.

Last night was cool. Darian && Kris were spazzin' but they talked it out. I helped I guess, even though I really didn't. But i'm glad they felt better after. I know both yall readin this so remind me that the next thing we're gonna talk about is communication. Yup yup. I'm mad Kris didn't know I was a relationship psychology major. Couple's counseling is my thing. Like really. Like professionally. Need help? Get @ me.

So i check the stats on mii blog counter daily cus iono, I like to see who's reading. I'm mad I could tell who's reading mostly from the shit they tell me. But there's a couple that I don't recognize. Hmmm, does Ashley have blog stalkers? lmao I think that'd be entertaining. Anywaysz I figured I'd throw this in there randomly for anybody reading who doesn't actually know me. [ get at me !! ] I'm friendly =D ask mii friends they'll tell you, lmao.

Oh yea, && randomly, I been drinkin water like,....hella lately. Usually you gotta force me to drink some water but lately its like all I want. Dehydrated? Lmao like i need any other medical conditions.

&&, because today was madd boring...I'm gonna leave now. G'night.


But wait....if my stomach is all jittery cus I get to see him tomorrow, thats a real crush right? Or am I spazzin again? Shit. =/

Can I sound conceited for a minute? In my own blog? I think I can sound conceited for a minute. Yeshum I think I can. Cus i don't need a nigga, or a boy who's just pretendin, nah, I'm pretty sure what I need is a man. Now bitches wonder what the difference is since they ain't seen no differences in all the thugs and gangsta niggas they always be fuckin wit. I want one on some other shit, some make you think and wonder shit, so when he speaks his words go deep and move me to discover shit. Someone to play in covers with. Someone to soothe me when my life ain't movin smoothly and I think I'm crackin under it, someone who feels me pain, or not, but at least understands. I don't need fakes or phonies, pimps or homies, no i need a man. [headley] the dough increaser, the pleasure realeaser, the hard knocks knower with that the scars to show ya[/headley] but maybe just a tat or two to show me that his G is true, through and through, but still a gentleman so I know mom approves. Someone to go to church with me, && bring me flowers on our anniversary, someone who knows what works for me, who worships me. Who trusts enough to run to me, and tell the secrets that he tells no one to me, I want to be his everything, I want him to be mine. I want him to be tender, loving, semi sensitive && kind. I want to always feel his pain, or at least understand. I won't be fake or phony, I'm just tired of being lonely, I want to be his woman.


=/



IT WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO RHYME THO!!!!!!!
LMAO @ THAT.

So i said I was gonna start writing again && sure nuff... i wrote a poem. Its shit but... Wanna read? =]

Untitled
When I kiss you
Its like some secret part of me
I didn't know existed
Opens up to let you in.
And all mistakes I made before
I tell myself I'll make again
I can't stop kissing you

When I talk to you
You manage to reveal to me
Some new form of perfection
And i cant find a reason to
Stop things from moving in this new direction
I don't want to not talk to you.

When i look at you
Each time its like you get more beautiful to me
Like your eyes get brighter
Or your smile more mesmerizing
Appearance, more hypnotizing
Don't make me stop looking at you

Because when I hold you
You fit
So no matter how we fight
I won't quit
This thing we've made is good and new
So i'll never let go of you
You can't make me stop holding you.

yuck, it was prettier when i wrote it. Madd ugly when I typed it though. Moving on....


Did you know, that if you google "my man said life ain't easy" the first thing you get is me? =D for some reason that made me really happy. No, i don't google miiself regularly, i was looking at mii blog counter && it was telling me that one of the sites that referred me was google, && that the keyword they'd used was "my man said life ain't easy" so I googled it cus I was like, thats madd random...&& there I was. how cool??!! -makes mii counter unclickable Aha!! Yu thought you was gone get like me. How cute? Lmao I'm mad i asked Kris if she used Sbc global && she freaked out like "I ain't lookin at nobody's shit no more!!!" lmaooooooo. Even if they told you the damn address everybody knows you'd still spy Zula Bell. Its okay. I would too. Its so damn fun. =D

Darian is sad. I don't like it when people I talk to are sad && i can't do anything about it. I mean I know people aren't always gonna be happy. I just don't like that helplessness I feel when I can't do anything. Thats me, always wanting to save the world. [keys]cus even when i'm a mess, I still put on a vest with an S on my chest, oh yes....[/keys]. you get the picture. Moving on.

Arvon vs. Mii White Boy

I'm so racist. Mii white boy's name is Justin. Ol cute ass. lmao. for a white boy anywayszz. There I go again. racist. Ion date white ppl. At least not seriously. But then I have to think do I not date white people cus I don't like white people or do I not date white people cus theirs never really been any around? Hmmmm....-thinks.

I was gonna do a pros && cons thing but uhm....i think i'll save that for another blog. I like em both. Just in entirely different ways. Arvon surprises the hell outta me. He's smart && funny && talented && fat as hell. lmao. Iono its just so much about him under the surface that I wasn't expecting. Its like a pleasant surprise. But for me to see that rare part of arvon happens bout once in a blue moon. The rest of the time he's slow as shit and I swear to god he DOES NOT know I exist. So yea there's that.

Then there's Justin. && the thing thats killing me about him is that he's white. Which is soo.......gay. For a white boy he's sexii as SHIT I just gotta say. && iono what it is about him. He's quiet, && stable, &&....he does what he's supposed to do. He's kinda like that one dorky kid that sits in the back and always does his homework but never raises his hand. YOu know the one that makes you go, "df is up with that kid?" just wanna get to know him more. cept for usually that kids kinda lanky and tall and weird lookin, && this nigga is SEXXII!! oops, did i say that again. I ain't mean to. Sorry. It slips sometimes. Whoo lawd I will fuck that boy up!!! Lmao. there it is again. slippin.


Anywayszzzz. I will be off. Cus another thing I discovered from mii blog counter is that ppl from myspace actually read the damn blog. Ain't that somethin new? Lmao.

Duecesz.
=]

Lemme tell you somethin bout life sweetie. When everythings perfect, I mean exactly the way you want it, and there's nothing else you could wish for in the world, one of two things is bound to happen. Either shit gets bad again, or you die.


I hate hate hate hate hate when people say, "I hate drama." nigga thass a gotdamn lie, && you oughtta be ashamed. If it wasn't for drama, wouldn't not a one of us be on the planet right now. Cus its drama that keeps you going. Some kind of obstacle that keeps you alive. If you're going along life, successfully, then somebody's gonna hate on you, someone's gonna become an enemy. Because haters && enemies are like the insects of the world. Them niggas is irritatin as shit, but they play a valuable role in our lives. && that don't stop you from killin em errtime you see em, && that don't stop some ppl from bein scared of em, && very few people enjoy bein around em, but they're actually necessary to keep the world turnin. If it wasn't for haters, there'd be no drama, there'd be no obstacles, && then what the hell would you do with your life? No like really. If everything went your way all the time. If you met the perfect person, and they weren't already with someone. If you got the perfect job, without even trying. If school was a breeze. If you had all life's problems worked out. Wouldn't that be boring as shit? What would you do? Or, if you're like me, think about it like this, what would the music be about? ppl make music about problems, if there weren't any problems would there be any music? [ if a tree falls in the forest...] i dunno I'm just pretty much thinkin aloud here but....you see where I'm goin wit this right? You need drama, you need problems, you need obstacles. You need it to survive. So the next time somebody does somethin stupid, just smile. As long as you got a problem you ain't dead yet. As long as something isn't absolutely perfect, you got somethin to live for don't you?

Lmao && i ain't even go to church today. Damn I'm deep.

Well i did go to church, I wasn't listenin to that nigga tho, he's irritating as shit. But lemme tell you the story from the beginning.

So we had choir rehearsal on Thursday, member, I told you, in the blog, with the happiness. Anywaysz, the first song we were doing is called Victory, && its hella too high for me, like i couldn't hit them notes to save my life. SO i told Mike [ choir director ] that, && he was like is it too high for all of yall? cus its three other altos, && they were like nah. So i was like cool if they can hit it I'll just sing in falsetto && it'll sound fine. Right? Makes sense don't it? Cept for this morning, when I got there.....I was the only alto. NONE of these females showed up. So now here I am, singing all by my damn self, && the song was too fuckin high for me. It was a mess!!! Now see, it'd be different if I hadn't openly said the song was too high for me, but these females was like oh no don't trip Ashley we got you. Got me from where heffa? Please tell me where you had me from cus from the choir stand it ain't look like you had me nowhere.

Pshka okay moving on. Now see I'ma perfectionist so the fact that the choir had messed up was reallyyyyyy on mii nerves cus ion like shit like that I just don't [ "don't curse on sunday ashley" -kiss my muhfuckin black ass ya cocksuckin piece a shit ] moving on. So i was like daydreamin all the the sermon I really wasn't payin this nigga no attention, and then this nigga was like, "I understand that I'm on a plane all the time, or I'm busy, and a lot of you don't get to see me very often, so i'd like everyone to form a straigh line coming from the very back, and I'd like to give you the opportunity to shake my hand, because I know that there's a few of you who would really like to shake my hand, so this is your chance, everyone, make the line. Now." Strike 1. Mii nigga don't nobody give a flying FUCK about your hand. If you want to shake somebody's hand it woulda took two seconds to turn that sentence around and say "I don't get the opportunity to shake your hand because I'm so busy and I'd like to take this opportunity to see you." That wouldn'ta took but a minute to say. But no, this nigga had to make it all about him. Aight. Whatever. So then everybody's coming from the back to shake his hand right? && Mother Hill [ the lady who used to do mii nails Mom ] came down and shook his hand, && when she was walkin back up the aisle she saw me && smiled && was like hey sweetie. && i smiled back. Tell me why thissss nigga gone yell at her. Actually yell at her. Mother Hill is like 70 years old and this nigga screams at her. "DON'T TALK TO NOBODY JUST SHAKE MY HAND AND GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT!!!" Strike 2!!! Mii nigga that woman is GROWN if she wanna talk to somebody she gone talk, df you gone say she old enough to be yo damn mama. Sit the fuck down somewhere wit all that ol pompous piece a shit. Okay so now i'm reallyyyyyy like....mmmm. Aight then nigga. Whatever. So THEN I finally get mii turn to go up && shake his hand, && i had kinda seen it before, but I was thinkin maybe it was just me cus I was already kinda irritated wit this nigga, but went I got up there I noticed it was forreal. He wasn't LOOKING at anybody!! No eye contact!! He made all these people. Fucking oldddd ass people, get up, and walk up there to meet his ass, && he wasn't even looking at them. Strike 3 ur out nigga WTF??!!! ughhhhh that was maddd irritating. I was like =| thats a damn shame. thats why I only sing there on the first sunday of the month. && only because michael asked me to. That nigga makes me sick.

This is gonna be a long ass blog.

So then!! when we were packing all the stuff up to leave, [ because mom had a bridal show today and so michael was supposed to take me to TT's in Vancouver ] so we were packing up all the instruments && stuff && this female who has a crush on Mike comes up && sorta elbows me out the way, && then steps on mii foot!! Not on mii toe tho, on mii actual foot, so now i got this big ass cut on mii foot from where this females heel scratched it. ugh!! Stupid bitches these days. Thats why Michael was liike, uhm, yea, I'm taken. thx. Stupid hoe..

Anywaysz. Then we went to TT's. && Jerome [TT husband ] was havin a real bad day. My pastor was there, && he hadda leave before TT even served the food cus he was like I'm not gone have mii kids around all this cussin. So they bounced. Then Mya [ TT daughter ] left, then Joe [ her son ] left. Then TT && Le'Anna was goin back to church for something && ion even member how cus i was half sleep, but Arvon && Jerome almost came to like blows. I ain't never seen Arvon so mad. SO then TT was like oh hell nah I'm not leavin you here wit him cus if I come back its only gone be one of you, && so she took Jerome to church with her. so it was just me && him. Now if this nigga was smart somethin might of happened, but he was madd && he's slow, so it didn't. Darian had told me to just tell him, & i was gonna, fore this nigga got all extra upset, cus i was scared he might kill me. Wasn't nobody around shit, I was in Vancouver && shit. So we was sittin there, madd quiet, watchin 300, then American Gangster. Do you know how long american gangster is? Mii nigga we sat through that wholee movie. In a house by our damn selves, && he ain't say a word to me. Not a word. && Darian wanna know why I won't just tell em I like em. I swear this nigga hate me. Lmao. Nah ion think he hate me, I just think he don't see me that way, && ion wanna make that shit awkward. [er than it already is]. Its just madd irritating cus...iono. I'm impatient. Ion like waiting. This ol slow ass nigga. But at the same time I don't wanna like push it, or force it, cus I gotta habit of doing that & the relationships never work out cus the nigga never felt the same way about me as a did about him, he just felt obligated cus he knew I liked him. So i feel like if i give this enough time, He'll figure something out && decide what he's gonna do. && i mean I guess if he doesn't do anything then it wasn't meant to be. Makes sense right?

Bleh. I'm bout through.

Duecesz
=]

XXXXXXX: mmmm hurry up and do ur work boss your secretary ishorny and waiting lol

Damn do i have it like that? Ol girl tryna role play && shit? lmao she needa calm that down. Lmao yesh yesh if yu weren't aware, Ashley gets the hoes. -dead @ the fact that I actually typed that. LMAO0O0O0O0O0O I think i'm on somethin. MOVING ONNNNN

Zula Bell's Back!!!! Wit 352845678364367458273645274365287364592734956234 blogs. Df? come on now I like to read as much as the next female - actually, a whole helluva lot moreee than the next female, buh the fuck was the purpose of that exactly?

Sammy has plans. we gone co-write on the ventage blog && then link back to our personal blogs for that day. Fuck firefox for telling me ventage ain't a word like i didn't already know that. "did you mean vintage?" LMAO0O0O0O0O0 no nigga. I meant Ventage. Thx. LMAO0O0O0 @ sammy ghetto ass msn/yahoo crossover turnin mii eye rolling smiley into that ugly ass glasses wearing smiley. Df? Lmaooo i'm thinkin its me. Like damn did i type the wrong thing? But the stuff required for them smilies ain't nowhereeee near each other. Oh yea && sammy mii mommy said we needa go thru her myspace pics && tell her which ones to keep && which ones to delete. You think i'ma cam whore? This bitch....

Speakin of mii cam whoreness.....I'm developing quite a lil collection over there huh?
<---- yesh yesh. I like taking pictures. Its fun.

Mannn its cold as FUCK in here. I'm sittin alll up under the heater...tryna get mii warmth up && shit. It ain't workin. I'ma get under the covers in a second.


XXXXXX: i need help dr phil lol
Me: wassup sweetheart?
XXXXXX:uuuummmm im horny

DFYOUWANTMETODOABOUTITBITCH?




[ theyjustwanttousemefortheinternetsexyo..... ]

LMAOOOOOOOOOO
Duecesz
=]

Kay soo mii closet doors had come off the track, && i couldn't get em back on cus I'm weak that way so mii mommy was like okay well lets just call maintenance && I was like aight sure. So apparently while i was out yesterday this nigga came in to fix mii doors, && now I have ants in here =|. I found two last night. Omgsh i almost freaked the fuck out. I've never had an ant in here. I've never had an ant in mii room since we first moved to Oregon. Thats almost two years nigga. I bet you prolly like, Ashley, calm the hell down, its just an ant, df is wrong witchu? lmao i really don't know. I guess it was like aa flashback to LA. You know, first you got ants, then you got roaches, && once you had roaches you was shit outta luck cus them niggas never go away, && then you had spiders. Which i [ hate ]. I've never seen a roach as long as we've been here either. So now i'm scared that cus i seen two ants, [ which i killed on sight mind you ] we gone get roaches now. && then spiders. Oooooooh jesus I hate spiders. :-s

So last night I watched Across the Universe, cus like madd people i know were like omgsh Ashley thats the best movie ever you've got to sit down and watch it you've just got to its so great. So i sat down && watched it. =| mii nigga....I guess maybe if I was on drugs, then the movie woulda been cool. The songs were alright, the story was whatever. I'm glad max didn't die even though I kinda wanted him to, cus I feel like that woulda given the movie more meaning. I'm mad in the end Prudence still ain't get nobody. Come on now, that girl was sufferinggg. but whatever. It was okay I guess. I don't see what everybody was raving about. I will download the album though cus that was worthy.

I'm mad this nigga earnest "came back" made a blogger, made me design that shit or whatever, which is half the reason its ugly, && then wrote one three sentence blog, && ain't wrote shit since. Nigga if you gone blog, blog. If you're not, don't. That shit is not complicated. You know I want everybody to have a blog so I can read deep into they're emotions. Don't get mii hopes all up like yayyyyy a new blog to read, && then you don't write nothin, the fuck kinda bullshit? [ thats him ] if you wanna read his pathetic blogness or link him or whatever. I ain't linked him. He ain't said nothin worth bein linked yet.

Speaking of ppl making blogs. You know what i think? I think Sammy should let me be a team member on the ventage blog she made, so we can both just randomly vent, without me having to make a new blog. Why? Cus i'm lazy as shit mii nigga thats why. Lmao. ANDDDD Darian should make a blog, so I could bother him bout all the shit he writes. Yup yup. All them damn thoughts in that big ass head of his, he needa write em down, its therapeutic. =D

:-< I've recently discovered that if you haven't known me since like , creation, mii conversation is madd lame. That makes me sad. Cus ion get it. Its like: Sammy, Danny, Earnest, Kris, Darian. I will talk to them niggas for days. Randomly. About nothin && everything. Just go. Everybody else is like one word answers, I never have anything to say, I never have any jokes, I always seem so damn boring. Ewwwwww. "Well why do you care what other people think?" I hate when people say that. Everybody cares what other people think. Its just whether or not you let it rule you that matters. && its not so much that I'm letting it rule me as I'm upset with the fact that I'm not giving an accurate representation of myself. Why should new people that meet the think I'm boring and dumb? If there's two things i'm not, its boring and dumb. So yea, thats irritating.

[ this blog is hella longer than I thought it would be. Who'da thunk I actually had some shit to say at 11:34 in the morning? ]

So there's this girl I met online, that actually lives down the street from me lmao, & she keeps saying we should hook up, we should meet, we should....blah. && i'm like yea sure that works. Cept for it doesn't. lmao. She was like you should come to the mall with a friend of mine && I today. I was like I can't I have sooooo much homework. [ which I do, well not so much, but some ] plus I'm babysitting my little brother. She was like oh well thats a bummer. I'm like yea sorry. Then she was lik oh!! Well then maybe you should come clubbing with us later on tonight. I was like well I would, in a second, but keep in mind I'm underaged. She thought I was 19 or 20. [ do i really look old??? I don't think I look old!! Wait till I get mii braces, them niggas not even gone wanna let me into Rated R movies I'ma look so young ] Anywaysz so now I think she's kinda frustrated with me cus she thinks i'm avoiding her. lmaoo0o0o0o0o. Bitch we met on the internet three weeks ago. How am I avoidddinngggg you? Bleh.. anywaysz.

I had something else to say, I had something else to say, I had something else to say, it was.........

Nope. I can't think. Yall know I'ma prolly blog again later on tonight. You know, like after I've actually had a day && some shit actually happens. Novel concept right? Where's Zula Bell? I want Zula Bell!!!!! -cries.

Giggle:
[ Stolen from Kris ]

"ON THE MIC IS A QUEEN NOW LISTEN TO ME SING, HE WANNA NUMBER THREE, SUPER SIZED ONION RINGGSSSS!!!!! HE COULD COME OUT THE HOUSE WIT NO ANKLE BRACELET ON, BUT HE GOT TWO STRIKES SO DON'T GET HIS ORDER WROOOONNGGGG!!!! HE COME OUT LOOKIN CUTE && ITS NOTHIN YOU COULD SAY, BUT IF HE GET WIT ME WE COULD DO IT YOUR WAYYYYYYYYY!!!"

lmao thass mii shit

Duecesz
=]