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H on est ly ,

The night is always darkest just before the dawn.

Insecurities....
2.2.08

You ever just been walkin along
Minding your business
&& an insecurity hit you?
Snuck up on you so it came up hard
&& like BOOM
Everything you do
Everything you say
Every facial expression you make
Is the stupidest thing to do
And the stupidest thing to say
And the stupidest facial expression to make
At that time
That happens to me a lot
I think it happens to everybody
I don't think there's anybody with no insecurities
I guess its just how many insecurities you have
Or how often your insecurities sneak up on you
Or how you let your insecurities effect you
That makes you "insecure" or not.
Iono I'm just talkin I guess.


But you gotta understand that i don't trust people
Anybody
Really.
Everything i tell people
I tell them with the fullest expectation that eventually their gonna betray that trust
&& just expose all my shit
Thats why i don't tell anybody anything
That i'm not ready to handle if it comes to public light.

But because I don't trust none a yall in the first place
Why would you give me a reason
To think you're untrustworthy?
Like why would you say something about me to somebody
Like that shit wouldn't come back to me?
My nigga
This is the internet
Hard as it is
I have a life
And i promise you
Nothing you can say on the internet
Is gone hurt my feelings bad enough to stop me from doing what I need to do
So if you got something to say
Say it
Good ; bad ; ugly
Say it
Shit.
At least that way i know where you stand.
Cus i can tolerate rude people
And I can accept people that don't like me ; or don't like certain things i do
But people who smile in my face
&& then say some other shit behind my back?
I have zero tolerance for that
None at all.

Ehhh but whatever yo
I'm going to sleep

[ I don't wanna be anything other than what i've been tryna be lately. All i have to do is think of me and I have piece of mind. I'm tired of lookin round rooms wonderin what i've gotta do, or who i'm supposed to be. I don't wanna be anything other than me. ]

Duecesz


Ashley

just another little black girl with dreams. I play my music too loud, and I don't listen. I'm only at peace when I'm in pain: when my wrist is sore from writing my emotions out like blood on the band-aid of a page, or when my throat is raw from singing my thoughts like tears into the air. I'm conflicted, and unrepentant, and I like the way this blogging shit makes me feel. This is the one and only place I'll never lie, honestly.

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Ashley @ ...

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2007.12
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