Darian wants to be the subject of mii blog. Iono why, he don't read it. He gone try to lie and tell me the reason he ain't know mii blog link was cus he cleared out his history. If you read the blog, you'd know the link. Or is that just me? Anywaysz back to this nigga Darian. He stays suprisin me lmao. Hard to believe I done had this nigga on yahoo since i first got yahoo. i'm talkin like the [ msz_lucky ] sn. Like winter 06. && i always jus thought he was dumb as shit. Forever talkin about somebody. I used to hate this nigga gms, but I would laugh tho. Lil nigga is funny. Then one night I started talkin to him, && i was like =| oh shit. there's a brain in there. lmao who'da thunk? Me + Darian = bomb ass convos. Ol young ass [ oxymoron ] but yea. Thats that.

[ pop quiz, Darian if you readin the blog box me && tell me....what the song is on mii blog right now , cus i know you don't read it ]

Anywaysz, today was a good day, even though I got caught in the rain. I had an interview at a restaurant called Stanford's down by my school. They liked me, said they'd call. I got a lotta interviews lined up though, so i'm not really stressin over it. Yeaps. Then mii lil brother did a photoshoot of me eatin popcorn. lmao. some of the pics are over there <--- but none of the ones where i was actually eatin popcorn cus in those i look hella fat. I was into that popcorn mii nigga. lmao. It was goooooood.

Can i just say that its madd irritating when people take madd pretty instrumentals and make songs about sex. [ex: Store Run, Trey Songz ; Peer Pressure, Pretty Ricky] Iono, maybe its cus I'm not havin sex so I can appreciate it. But uhm....like seriously. Listen to the music to peer pressure. Just the music. And then realize that this nigga said "i'ma be your pimp you could be my skeezer". =| thats what the fuck i'm talkin bout nigga. Shameful.

[songz] && you can't say that I don't tempt you, cus if you do then you'sa liar[/songz]

lmao. that was random. Anywaysz I'm outro. Heres what made me giggle today:
[ If yu laugh yu're going to hell ]

I'm boutta watch Across the Universe. Everybody keeps saying its good so i'ma find out

Duecesz
=]

Heyyyyy. =D. Iono. I'm listenin to this damn french song, Travailler by this band TTC. lmao I'm not gone post it cus the shit is not in English. But its kinda like that song Elektro Pop i posted a while back where i'm just kinda dancin to it even though they hella speakin French lmao. I'm hyper. Its Thursdayyyy. My new official favorite day of the week cus I have no classes Friday so Thursday becomes my Friday but even better I get to laugh in the kids face in the morning cus they have school && I don't. How beautiful is that?

Damn Chris Brown for coming on && fucking up mii dance mood. -changes

[kanye]&& on the count of three, everybody run back to your fantasy[/kanye]
I love this song. Love Common. So under appreciated. Just like music these days...
Who was i sayin that to earlier?
[ thinks ]
...
Ion member. Yall know I'm old.

Yall prolly wanna know why I'm so damn happy. Lmao i'ma tell you =]. I had choir rehearsal tonight. Choir rehearsal always makes me happy. I love to singggggg. I loe to danceeee. I love to laughhhhh. && so its a perfect combination. But tell me why we was on our way to rehearsal at [5:00] && i knew rehearsal wouldn't get out till [8:00] && when Bruce called I was like yea i'm kinda busy right now I'll call you back. Lma0o0o0o. I mean yea I know I ain't give him no specific time but we been home for two hours && i still ain't called him. Iono. Its mii Friday. Ion feel like talkin to him. He'll fuck it up seriously. Like ewwwww.....

So anywaysz.

UGH @ ALICIA KEYS FUCKIN UP MY DANCE MOOD!!!
-sigh. these niggas needa quit like forreal
-changes

[jeezy]If i had a million dollars, yea I'd spend it all today, show these niggas how to play[/jeezy]

Did I tell yall mii mommy might get a job as a truck driver? Which means she'd be gone 9 outta the 12 months of the year. && guess who'd be here with the kids?

I bet you guessed right. l0lz its cool tho. I'm not gone let no lil possibility fuck up mii Thursday. =]

[jeezy]somebody call me a shrink, till then I'ma fix me a drink[/jeezy]

Duecesz.
=]

I really should be sleeping but ugh. Bleh. I dunno. Somethings irkin me. So i figure if I just write for a little while, eventually whatevers bothering me'll come out. But i really don't know what it is. Its like no matter whats going on I'm never just happy. Like I expect so much from myself that I can't live my life. Ain't that bout a bitch? Like i really just want to forget all of it sometimes. All my big plans for living my life the way I want. Sometimes I just want to let all that go and sit back and have someone else live my life for me. I wanna let trends dictate what I wear && let mtv dictate what kinda music I listen to. Sometimes I think thats what I want. To just be "normal".

But then other times I'm like fuck that. I mean, I wasn't built for normal. God didn't make me for normal. I wasn't meant to blend in. Which is why I don't. Its just that standing out's so damn uncomfortable. I don't like it really. I mean, I want the people who know me to love me. And thats it. I don't like new things, I don't like new people, I'm really cool wit my tiny ass little circle cus they're all approved. I trust them. I know if the shit hits the fan them niggas ain't gone scramble. && seriously its very few people I can say that about. Cus mosta yall is on && off like light switches && shit. && where I used to trust everyone, now I don't trust anyone. I'm not gone take the risk of you turning out to be a fake bitch and fuckin my life up. No that stage is gone.

But I wish it wasn't. Shit I liked that stage. Being able to say whatever I wanted to whoever I wanted && not be ashamed of it. I have a theory. If you can't talk about some shit that happened in your past, then you aren't over it. And so when I officially get over some shit, I like to broadcast it. Just cus I can. Just cus, so the fuck what? Like Hi I'm Ashley, I was raped by my mother's boyfriend when I was nine and got pregnant. I was forced to have an abortion because I was too small to carry the baby to term. And then 6 months after my abortion my mom gave birth to my little brother, who has the same father. And my mom never acknowledges that the shit ever happened. I can say that. No tears. Not even hella emo sadness like I used to get. I'm over it. Really. I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life hating men because Karl raped me. I'm not gonna resent my little brother cus he's not my baby. I'm not gonna resent my mother because she just can't take the fact that she allowed a man to come into her home and take advantage of her first born. They're forgiven. I gave it to God.

I said all that to say, that I used to be able to trust people enough to say that. To anybody. I'd just say it. I'd be completely okay with that. Now i can't. I'ma leave it up because this blog might as well be private the way nobodyyyy reads it, but in the real world, like with friends from school, I couldn't say that. Cus that shit might come back to bite me in the ass. Cus you never know. && blah blah blah. I hate that. Not being able to trust people. I like trusting people. I like to expect the best from people. It generally actually does bring out the best in them.

Yuck. I need new people to talk to late at night. Somebody deep enough to just go there with me and stay there with me and then bring me out when I get too emo. Or someone to go there with and stay there with and bring out when they get too emo. Or somebody to just....chill with. Somebody that's cool when I say I need to talk about it, && equally cool when I say i need to forget about it. Where are those people at? I got a few of em. But i know there's more. I feel like everybody gets exposed to this surface, random ditzy goofy slow ass Ashley thats nowhere near who I am. I mean I'm partly that. But I'm not all that. Whatever.

I'm pretty sure I should stop typing now. Nobody's gonna read this but Sam && Kris so whats the point really? It didn't make me feel better. It just passed some time. So yea. I'm out.

o0o0ooh yea && i almost forgot:
[ laugh @ the gay porn stars ]&& i'm really madd that no one told me there was no fifty three so I jus hadda redo the whole damn thing. Yall ain't good for shit yo. I'm goin to sleep.

Duecesz
=]

So on youtube they did this thing where all the "famous" youtubers had to say ten things no one knew about them, and then they had to tag five people so they could do it. Why does this remind me of that? Anywaysz. Oh yea && credit to Eric, who Kris lowkey stalks...

1) My middle name is Pearl, after my grandmother [RIP]
2) My birthday's Christmas Eve
3) Most Valuable Possession = Walter, stuffed sheep I've had since I was three.
4) I can sleep without him, I'd just really rather not.
5) I taught myself how to play the piano and the guitar
6) I skipped 2 1/2 grades. (7th, the second half of 11th, && 12th)
7) It surprises me that 5 & 6 made me sound maddd impressive
8) I'm a freshman in college
9) Sometimes I'm psychic (no really, ask Sam)
10) Diagnosed with chronic insomnia when I was five. I don't sleep. I have pills. Don't take em tho.
11) Now that I think about it, I probably have/have had more random sicknesses than anyone you know.
12) I will read allllll day if you let me
13) Oldest of three
14) Sometimes, I'll get dressed up all cute for school, && when people look at me I think its because I did something wrong. (guess you call that insecurity)
15) If you said "awww" just now, kiss my ass. Your pity irritates me.
16) I'm very easily irritated.
17) For a long time, irritated was my favorite word
18) I was gonna say something, but I forgot what it was. && that happens a lot.
19) Oh yea!! Can I drive? Yes. Do I drive? No.
20) I'm what you call a forward thinker. The type of person who plans shit years in advance.
21) If i plan it, I do it.
22) I'm a perfectionist. If I'm not gonna do something right, I won't do it.
23) I've got the sickest memory for names && birthdays. I remember everybody's name && everybody's birthday. Even if I don't talk to them anymore. Even if I don't like them.
24)I went to four elementary schools && three high schools.
25) I'm really, really bad at keeping in touch with people.
26) Uhm...i'm pretty damn random
27) Except for whats random to yall ain't really that random to me, its just how my brain works.
28) I'm a songwriter, I think I'm pretty damn good at it =]
29) I sing too, but I don't consider it one of my strong suits.
30) Therefore, music isn't my air. Its my water (70% of my body anyway. Can only go two or three days without it)
31) I forgive everybody for everything all the time. I don't hold grudges even I should.
32) The most sinninest church girl you know.
33) Nope, that sure ain't a word.
34) Don't smoke cus I sing, gotta watch them lungs.
35) Don't drink cus ion like the taste of most alcohol.
36) Alcohol is a hard ass word for me to spell for some reason.
37) I can entertain myself all by myself.
38) I have a lot of high fashioned shit (coach bag, prada glasses, etc) but I'm not high fashioned.
39) I'm nosy as hell, but not as nosy as Zula Bell
40) Oh shit that rhymed!!!!
41) When shits not spelled right, it irrritates the hell outta me.
42) I have ridiculously high relationship standards, which is why i'm single most of the time.
43) My mom is my best friend.
44) If you ask me I'll tell you i'm black, but I'm actually mixed: black, cherokee indian, puerto rican && korean.
45) Yes, I have good hair.
46) I collect cool lil quotes. I'll be like "oh shit thats hot lemme write that down!", but i never use em.
47) I'm not a sneakerhead at all, I just only wear Nikes.
48) Sometimes I'm really rude. Most times I'm not.
49) I could probably tell you my whole life story through song lyrics.
50) Member how I said i forgive everybody? I never forgive myself.
51) I feel weird if I go a whole day without writing a blog.
52) I haven't had a cel phone since October && i'm totally okay with that.
53) I'm a virgin
54) The little things really do mean everything to me.
55) I like to make up little stories about people I see on the bus. Where they came from, where they're going....I'm a writer =]
56) Overcoming my fear of spiders. slowwlllyyyyy
57) Uncommon dislike of airports. Ask me about it, I'll tell you the story.
58) I have a story for everthing, my life is a book, that will then be turned into a movie.
59) If you don't believe that then you don't know me.
60) I wish I was more selfish.
61) Weird/strange/odd = Me
62) I love challenges.
63) I hate losing, but I'm not a sore loser.
63) Camera whore.
64) Photoshop junkie
65) I love drama, as long as its not mine.
66) If i only had 5 dollars, and you needed 2, I'd give it to you.
67) I don't cry easily, but it does happen occasionally.
68) I already know what I'm going to name my kids.
69) I want 3; a boy and two girls.
70) I might adopt cus pregnancy is not the business.
71) Napolean Dynamite = stupidest movie in the world (&& not in the good way)
72) Trying out for a reality show is on my list of things to do before I die.
72) Chinese food = ♥
73) I'ma sucker for football players. Its a turn on =]
74) I'ma sucker for football in general. Cowboys, Colts, Giants.
75) && Basketball. Mavs, Pistons, Suns, Lakers. Sometimes the Celtics too buh they get on mii nerves
76) I type 65 words per minute
77) My laptop is a MacBook Pro
78) I love roller coasters
79) If i have a lot of free time, its cus I"m ignoring something
80) My two favorite colors are turquoise && red
81) I don't like talking on the phone. at all.
82) My favorite holiday is fourth of July
83) If i don't have a nickname for you; I don't fuckin like you.
84) I feel like i talk too much, so I just don't talk sometimes.
85) America's Favorite Pastime should be changed. Nobody gives a shit about baseball anymore.
86) I like politics.
87) One of the few people who knows that Barack Obama should not be the next president . Really.
88) I've heard I'm funny. Don't get it, but sure.
89) I've got one of those disorders. OCD, ADD, iono which one, but I got one.
90) I think I'm too open minded sometimes.
91) Lupe+Kanye+Jay-Z=Love
92) I'm bisexual
93) I flirt without knowing I'm doing it
94) I've got an addiction to celebrity gossip.
95) I'll hit you if you tickle me. Reflex.
96) I only wear Air Force Ones. Everything else gets on mii nerves.
97) I put Tobasco on damn near everything.
98) Which is a shame since I'm pretty sure I spelled it wrong just now.
99) I'm a recovering earring addict.
100) I had chickenpox last April && it fucked up my skin.
101) I beat Jay ( yesh i read his blog, sue me )
102) Only makeup I wear is eyeliner && gloss.
103) I beat Zula Bell
104) I'm th shit.
105) Now i'm scared Sammy's gonna do one thats got like 211 things on it && make errbody look real stupid.
106) This was madd fun.
107) I'm perfectly aware that nobody reads this.
108) The End. =D


Blehhh so right now i'm waiting for the song of the day to upload and I can put it up. Cus i do that part last even tho its at the top of the post. I have a system. =]. I'm mad i got up, got dressed, took the bus to schoo, just to discover that my class was cancelled, so then I came back home. Df kinda waste of time? && i was sleepy as shit this mornin too, you tellin me I coulda stayed in bed? Ain't that bout a bitch? Unh uh i'm mad at that. Anywaysz now I have to do homework. Munchkapie's here!!!
o0o0o I'ma post a picture of him. hol up.


Pic Of The Day:


*bby.snoopy ™: awwies my ass it look like a bear
lmao0o0o0o0o0o0o00o

Duecesz
=]

So its 9:48 && i gotta write 3 papers && i gotta go to sleep by one. 2 of em'll be madd easy. the other one'll be madd hard but whatever tho. Iono i just can't write a paper till everything in mii head is out mii head. && it usually don't be shit in mii head so....forgive me. Thx.

*bby.snoopy ™: I knoooow mannnn
*bby.snoopy ™: like seriously
*bby.snoopy ™: where'd all the interesting ppl go
Me: i knowww
Me: i feel bad
Me: cus i'm not even as interestin as i used to be
Me: fuckin around wit these uninterestin muhfuckas
*bby.snoopy ™: i knooow
*bby.snoopy ™: makes you ehhh too

Yesh ; me && sammy need more interesting friends. So I'm putting out an all call. If you're interesting, and you're reading my blog, comment, so we can be interesting together. =D. lmao no seriously. =|

So iono its like the season for ex boyfriends. Really, I only have two that I have like long, important relationships with. Thats Bruce && Jeremy. Everybody else is just like oh yea I dated him for a minute. Thats just dudes tho. If you're talkin bout females its just Whit really. && we all know I ain't in no rush to do that shit again. Anywaysz. Hell yesh, Ashley's Ex Emporium. Them niggas made a club, && that have monthly meetins, && once a year, they all pop the hell up and throw me off guard. Thank God I ain't got a phone cus then these niggas would be callin. =| its irritatin enough on the internet but come on? The phone too?

And if this nigga Jeremy keep it up i'ma have to do a ridiculously long and boring blog about him too. Lmao yesh. I halfway write these blogs so when i go to turn mii life into a movie in ten years I'll have points of reference. && if you don't think my life is movie worthy, then you don't know me. Shiiiettttt.

The only thing that made me giggle today was:
[ The Anime Music Video For Lupe's "Go Baby" ]
Makes me think of Sam. Then, all anime makes me think of Sam. She's so Asian {^.^}

Duecesz
=]

Today was a long ass day yo. I was kinda off && on not really on but kinda on but then off. Me && Ree cleaned the house. We reaaranged mii room. We're gonna do hers tomorrow. Its 2 in the morning. I can barely keep mii damn eyes open. && for some reason I'm mad afraid that just when i get to sleep good my mommy's gonna wake me up and tell me somethings not clean. And then you know what i'm gonna do? I'm gonna cry. Alot. Until she has mercy on me, and lets me go back to bed.

Anywaysz, as we all know I have absolutely nothing to say. Cept for like...why do allll rappers have to be the CEO of something? Like all of em. I mean, it ain't necessarily got to be no shit you've ever heard of before in your life, but every single rapper out these days is the head of some type of other business situation. Now, i'm all about multiple streams of income, I mean get cha money man, do what you do. But did it ever occur to these niggas that maybe they just wasn't meant to be runnin businesses? I mean like a understand half yall niggas sold drugs so you're good wit numbers. Cool. But its just like....iono it seems like nowadays rappers are usin the industry to forward their business goals, and become the next Sean Combs or Russel Simmons. And so their focus isn't really on the music. Which is probably why music these days is so ass. Iono just a thought.

Lmao i don't know when i started doin the pic of the day && song of the hour shit. I guess i just like leavin yall wit somethin. So here's what entertained me today.
[ stuff white ppl like ]
Note: If you don't actually like to read, that won't be fun for you. yea.

Duecesz
=]

"So here we are again, boy this always happens, it ain't like we're scared, but we know what happens when things move to fast but should be movin slow..."

[ mii tooth hurts, && this is gone be long as shit so get some popcorn && get comfy or somethin nigga ]

This nigga Bruce is back to callin me. Yo.....ugh. Nah. Lemme splain Bruce to yall. Because really...I'm mad as shit. Like really. I met this nigga September 6, 2005, first day of mii sophomore year of high school, he was a junior. That was the year I went to CATCH (so it was the same year I met Brandon). Anywaysz. First time i seen this nigga I knew he was trouble. Why? Because he is not the type i usually fuck wit. First off, this nigga is short as shit [5'6"] && i like em tall. Secondly, this nigga light skin && errbody know light skinned niggas is trouble. && third && final, this nigga eyes is pretty. So i knew first time seein him he was conceited as shit, && i ain't wanna have nothin to do wit him. Buh he was chillin wit the homegirl Minnie that i had been singin wit at the time (lmao PANIC is a whole nother blog mii nigga) but yea she thought he was just the best thing since sliced bread so she had him around wit her all the time. (to get the story you have to understand that our school was madd ghetto, && they ain't give a shit who's class you was in, as long as you was in a class). So this nigga was alwaysssss around. Anywaysz I'd had mii cell phone in mii backpack cus i ain't carry purses at this point. He saw me pullin it out && decided he needed to give me a five minute lecture on how easy it would be for somebody to steal mii phone. To which i responded, "well there's nowhere else for me to put it so if they gone steal it they gone steal it. Now get the fuck out my face." I aint' like that lil nigga for shit I swear. ANYWAYSZZZ, i realized he was right tho so i moved the phone to another compartment in the bag. But then later when i was lookin for it I forgot I put it there [ like the slow ass muhfucka I am ] so what'd I think? I thought this nigga had decided to steal my phone to teach me a lesson. So what did I do? I went off. Oh you can bet I went off, cussin and yellin and hollerin && callin him and his mama every name in the book and guaranteein that there would be some very large niggas lookin for him if he didn't gimme my shit back.

.......

This nigga, cool as a gotdamn cucumber, went over to my back, opened the compartment where I'd put the phone, took the phone out && put it in my hand. "There's your shit back." OOOHhhhhhh he got on my damn nerves!!! lmao i felt stupid as hell but I'ma G tho mii nigga all i said was thank you and then i went to go sit the hell back down where one of the boys (Brandon, Keenan, Or Rikki) was like, "I'll beat his ass for you if you want," buh i was like nah whatever ugh fuck that nigga. Then when school got out we realized we took the same bus home. Which wasn't rare its only two buses on the street, you either take one or the other. So i'm sittin wit mii nigga Keenan and he talkin (cus Keenan could talk for days, you ain't have to say nothin back, just sit there, and he'd talk) so he was talkin bout how he lived on 135th, && then errbody jus started shoutin out they streets, [ i aint' shoutout shit cus the street I lived on was in the opposite hood of where we went to school ] but then this nigga Bruce gone say he stay on 8th && 104th. Now i used to live on 7th && 104th so i was like nigga you lyin I ain't never seen you. && he was like i already made you feel stupid once today. And i was like nigga df you think you are you can't make me feel shit. Lmao yesh we still fight like that. But we was like so you wanna see the house? And i was like if its on 8th its an apartment but sure. Then i'll show you my house. Okay so tell me why this nigga lived at 10239 S8th Ave. && i'd lived on 10237 S7th ave for three years. We'd just moved to Normandie a month before. My mom && this niggas mom used to get their mail confused && shit. smh.

Anywaysz, eventually i stopped hatin him, jus cus it was too fun fightin wit em. Its hard to find intelligent ppl to argue wit in Inglewood. Them niggas is stupid. Anywaysz one day this nigga had stole mii pen to draw something [ he's an artist yesh he is ] && i wanted it back, buh he wouldn't give it to me stupid lil nigga thinkin he cute tryna flirt. I knew what he was doin buh i wasn't havin it I wanted mii damn pencil. Anywaysz so we was fightin for it, && then this nigga gone kiss me out the fuckin blue.

[comedy moment] okay so before i even got a chance to like process what had happened, this nigga Malia started screamingggg && hit me over the top of the head wit some rolled up paper. The Keisha was screamin, then Minnie was screamin. Ebony never screamed but she was laughin her ass off and then them bitches draggedddd me to the bathroom to scream somemore [ with better acoustics, so that shit echoed ] about why I didn't tell them I liked Bruce. To which i responded "He kissed me, who said I liked him?" [/comedy moment] Anywaysz, Minnie left to go interrogate Bruce. And you know what his punk ass said? Do you know what his punk ass said? This nigga said we were dating. can i just say [ SINCEWHENMIINIGGGA? ] Buh anywaysz, I was bored as shit && we was a good kisser so i was like sure df ever why not? So we were dating. That was Sept. 21 05.

Yall want me to shuttup? Too damn bad, I known this nigga damn near three years you only two weeks into the story nigga...stop readin if you tired shit.

Anywaysz. Whooooo shit!! me && this nigga almost fucked bout 2397583852345 times. We never actually did but whooooooooo I almost got back on the pill for this nigga!! [ i'm allergic to orthotrycyclin, which is the main shit they put in birth control pills, one day we'll talk about Jeremy, && how i made that discovery ]. But anywaysz, I met his mom and his stepdad, he met my mom. We took the bus to school together. This nigga made me pancakes [ oh yea, he cooks too ]. It was all good && well or whatever. But the thing about it was, both of us is real used to bein in control of situations. && whatever was goin on between us we reallyyyy ain't have no control over, so we actually wasn't likin it too much.[ as sam would say. How.........gay. ] lmao. we was like oh hell nah fuck this shit. [ came to later find out that thats called love lmao but we was bullshittin in a real way ]. So i broke up wit him on Friday, just to have this nigga say he was gone break up wit me on saturday. lmao. we wasn't havin it. Shit. We dated for a month, we broke up Oct 23 05. Anywaysz, we stayed cool. He pretty much became a part of the family. He went to church with me and my mom && the kids on Sundays, stayed with us for family day. Sometimes if we were going to see a movie or something we'd pick him up. He babysat the kids on my [ 15th ] birthday when me & mii mom went out, like we always do on my birthday. He was sick that day lmaoooo. Nigga had a fever. He was hella delusional. He's so cute when he's sick, but anywaysz. That was that.

Jan 10th my best friend Jill informed me that she and Bruce really liked each other and they wanted to get together but they wanted my permission first. I almost laughed in her face forreal. Fact of the matter was Bruce ain't want Jill, he wanted me. And Jill was just like me. I called her twin. We called each other twin, our birthdays were 12 days apart in shit lmao [ Jill's a whole nother blog too ]. So anywaysz I was like sure, go head. So they got together on the tenth. And the me && Bruce jus all the sudden started hatin each other. lma0o0o0o omgah lookin back at it the shit is soooo stupid. But anyways him && jill [ who, coincidentally, also dated Brandon ] was always fightin, like all the time. And jill keeps crying to me, "I don't know who he expects me to be!!" Now i wasn't tryna beat around the bush with this female lmao. I told her he expected her to be me. And she deserved better than that, and she needed to break up with his ass. But she didn't. They stayed together. For a longggggg ass time. But it ain't matter cus me && him was back to bein best friends by March.

Anywaysz, in May the money came. [ official story; mii great grandmother passed away && left an inheritance ]. if yu kno the real story great for you. Anywayszzz. SHIETTTTTTTT. lmaooo me && bruce was gone!!! i'm talkin like.....gone. We bought a cab driver. Like a whole one. lmao.....we had this nigga on call. We called, gave him a pickup, he picked us up && took us around the whole day. We was at every mall in Los Angeles County [&& thass a grippa malls] We was downtown, on Wilshire, in Hollywood. Cus when i say everywhere I'm not sure if you understand that I really do mean everywhere. We had sooo much fun. Thats about the time mom was like okay we're gonna take the money && move to Oregon. && i was like yea whatever ho see you later.

The day before we was supposed to move, mii grandpa [ who we had been staying with ] passed away. =[[ that was a sad ass day yo. It was the last day of school, and me and mii lil sister went to school anyway, we wanted to say bye && shit. While mom && aunty isha finished packing the house, she moved me and the kids into a hotel cus she couldn't deal with it all or whatever. During theeeeee....maybe week we were in the hotel was the time that Bruce [ officially && physically ] cheated on Jill with me.

Blah Blah moving on. I moved, me && bruce kept in touch, then we stopped. then we started again. Then we stopped. He never liked whitney, woopty do for him. Then we'd start again. Then we'd stop. We had a bomb ass time at California Adventure for m 16th birthday, and then we'd start again. And then we'd stop. And shit the last time we stopped i was like fuck startin again nigga can I be done with you? PLease?

So now he's back to callin me. && iono if anybody knows how this works but you ever had somebody that knows you so well that even if you don't wanna talk to them, you can still be on the phone wit that person for a long ass time, even though you don't like them, yall just got that conversation thing down. Thats bruce. && iono. I'm mad at that. I wanted it to be over like keyshia cole and now its here we go again like kelly rowland, df? yea i'm done. I done typed for so long mii tooth don't even hurt no more.

Pic Of The Day:

He drew me that when we were dating. Its mii name [ which he spelled wrong. smh i never let him live that down ]

Song of the Hour: Wreckless Love by Alicia Keyssss

Dueucez.

Yayyyyy it Thursday!! Thursday = Mii Friday cus i have no classes on Friday. So i get to stay up late[r than usual] && watch movies && eat junk food && have mii mommy not yell at me. O0o0 speaking of mii mommy

[ situation ]
Mom: [turns down volume ] So you're tryna move out in ten months
Me: Yesh ma'am
Mom: Okay well before you move out I'ma need to see some changes.
Me: ... Like?
Mom: You can't just get an attitude with people all the time like you do with me.
Me: Mom. =| Have I ever had an attitude with anybody like I have with you?
Mom: No, but it seems like since you're getting older you're more disrespectful.
Me: To you?
Mom: And to your godparents
Me: To Goddaddy?
Mom: No, Iishah and Lee. You know what I mean.
Me: So basically I disrespect everyone in the family without a job.
Mom: [pulls over, takes breath] You didn't have to say that.
Me: I know, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
Mom: You don't have one either you know.
Me: I'm trying harder than 2/3 of yall.
Mom: I know. [pause] You still didn't need to say that.
Me: I know. I'm sorry.
Mom: Yea.

[/situation]

&& sometimes I'm the worst daughter in creation. =[

Song of the Hour: Can't Take It by All American Rejects

=[

So i'm eating cookies, boutta read mii mommy's book. Did i tell yall mii mommy was writing a book. I didnt? Shit. Well. [ mii mommy's writing a book ] there ya go. Anywaysz, she been hidin it from me buh she finally said i could read it so i'ma do that lmao. I bet its gone be bomb. This bitch has skills.

Ugh so i was gonna type but i hella forgot cus now u got munchkapie ; aka the baby. he just stopped crying, which is why i'm typing again.

Anywaysz =D @ me && sammy makin a blake today
noearnestyucannothaveaninvitationcode
&&
yeshmiiniggaididsayinvitationcodes
because
omgmiiniggatheygotinvitationcodes!!
lmaoo
that shit is top secret as hell!!
iss a shame the profiles is ugly && the smilies are wack
&& thass the end
-goes back to cookies
&& mii mommy's book

Song of the Hour: Clumsy by Fergiee

Duecesz
=]

Can we say mood swing?

Yea i was emo as shit yesterday. Thats me, what can I say? Anywaysz, shortest blog ever. I'm mad mii hairdresser moved away && ion trust nobody to do me shit no more. =[ I'ma look like one of those dolls wif the neon green hair stickin up in car windows in about a week. So say buh bye to the pretty hair. I wanna know if Sammy sister baby was a boy or a girl so when she reads this she should most definitely inform me. Mhm thass it =] [ Oh && i had a stalker today; buh that was actually mad uneventful. who'da thought stalkers was borin? ]

Song of the Hour: Love in the Club by Usherrr

Duecesz
=]

PS: looka mii bearrrrrrr ---->
=D

"But yu got ur iPod back tho...."

generic hoes needa get df out mii shit
i mean yu could read thass all good && well
buh who the hell asked for your opinion tho?
Really?


Its 1:30 in the morning. And I don't wanna go to sleep cus i don't wanna wake up and have to do this shit all over again. I feel like if i just don't sleep, I'll be more prepared for how much life sucks. But if i go to sleep, and dream, and everythings okay for a little while, then when I wake up its gone hit me again like it did today. Ion want that. I couldn't take that again. I'ma stop writin cus ... its no point. It ain't even therapeutic no more, it just makes me realize how bad it really is. It just makes me look at it.

Song of the Hour: I Needed You by Chris Brown

Its 5:41pm PST && i officially declare that today has been absolutely terrible. Why? Because it was supposed to be a fucking holidayy thass why. So not only was I at school bright && early, but the classes were damn near emptyy. Thass not why the day was ass tho. Iono its like errthing thats goin on jus hella hit me today. Like i mean, we don't have enough money for me to get a job. Why do i say that? Cus we don't have enough money for me to get to the places and put in the applications. We don't have enough money for me to get on the bus. We don't have enough gas money. We barely have enough money to get me to school. We're seriously considering me dropping out of school. How fucked up is that? I mean shit i hate school much as the next person, buh i've never considered dropping out. I mean damn...even bitch ass lazy ass sspoiled ass useless as Elmo graduateddd so i could do at least that right?

Well so anywaysz I'm thinkin bout all this on the bus on my way home from school && i jus start cryin. Not like major cryin like maybe 6 tears but I was irritated with it cus it was like shit. This isn't okay anymore. Like i been sayin everythings gonna be okay everythings gonna be okay, but like its not. And at the moment there's really nothing i can do about that. && anywaysz i was thinkin about all that && listenin to gospel on mii iPod tryna make myself feel better && it worked a little i guess. So i get off mii first bus to switch busses, && i see the bus at the corner, so i go to cross the street but the light just changed so i'm stuck. But i'm like starin at the bus driver && i waved at her && she nodded so i'm thinkin okay she sees me she's not gonna leave. Sure enough the light changes && this bitch is drivin off so I'm runnin for the bus which is not some shit I do normally but the bus i'm runnin for only comes once every fuckin half hour && i wasn't waitin thirty minutes for another bus. It was already a bad day shit. So i'm runnin, && i make the bus. && so i get on the bus && i'm jus kinda sittin there, tired as shit, pretty sure i sprained mii ankle cus they was doin construction on the sidewalk so i hadda like run all on the grass && in the bike lane && shit. So whatever I get off the bus, I go to turn the volume back up on my iPod. TELL ME WHY MY EARPHONES AREN'T ATTACHED TO ANYTHING!!!???? So i start thinkin right like okay Ashley when did the music stop? && i realize that I dropped mii iPod while i was runnin for the gottdamn bus!! so now i'm mad as hell. Screamin && gettin ready to seriously cry again on the side of the fuckin street cus i lost miii gotdamn iPod. I mean shit the only thing that stopped me from cryin earlier was the iPod && then i dropped it? Df kinda bullshit is that? So i'm runnin to the house, && thank god moms home. So i'm like mom!! We gotta go back && get mii shit!!
&& my mom bein the damn coolest female in the world was like ok put the baby in the car seat. && we left && went back to go get it && it was still THERE!!!! =D i was so happy I damn near screamed in the car. && then me && mommy did a victory dance, && then we came home && had ice cream. && now i gotta do like 6 weeks worth of homework so i don't fail this class. And i told you all this so you'll believe me when I Say:

Today.fucking.Sucked.

the end
=]

So i spent the day at Arvons. I got a picture of this nigga smiling!! Actually i got two. Buh i'ma put the first one up cus i like it better. TT house was cool as usual. We ate hella, Bennie was there wit his ol allergic to everything ass. lmao. He was high as shitt too we was all lookin at em like :| Bennie Ray if yu don't sit the fuck down.....lmao but it was fun tho. They was playin hot wheels on the PS2 wit Jon [ thats what he was laughin at in the picture ]. That shit was comedy. I was supposed to stay the night but [ woopty do ] I have school tomorrow. Ain't tomorrow President's Day? Shiiiiiit. Ion wanna. That shit better be a misprint or somethin. I hope when I show up tomorrow the shits closed. Everybody else get to sleep in && i gotta be at school....df kinda pointless bullshit...?


Oh && lmaooooooo @ The Jeanri thing. Not that i have to explain miiself in mii own fuckin blog buh i will cus I know the drama keeps yu breathing. Quote "Smh @ Jeanri's fake" which i then edited to "Smh @ Jeanri has a fake". Ion really see wuh the issue is there. Its no secret that I read ppl blogs. && yu wouldn't know who's blog I was readin unless you was readin mine. But anywaysz, Jeanri's fake requested me on myspace, which i found funny, so i blogged it. No major backstory, no rudeness, jus me, being random && blogging. If anything i was being uncharacteristically flattering by mentioning it at all. So ion't see why my name popped up in [ 4 ] pplz blogs today. I mean damn. Sure is funny how word travels. lmao

Duecesz.

I changed it again. I guess that OCD count for more than just myspace. I like it better simple. Cept for now i gotta make a banner heading thingy...What should it sayyyyyyy? [ third ] blog i've ever written when the suns out. I'm madd weird yo. smh @ Jeanri has a fake. The shit that happens in the world these days....

=]Kbye.

Yay ; it looks better now
=]
buh its still irritating
irritating things::
when yu click on the older posts, it gets madd ulgy
&& it doesn't show the actual name of the blog
how dumb is that?

Anywaysz
night all

I've decided this blog template is ugly. It was cute when i put it up lmao buh its not no more. I'ma take it down. Fucka template for a minute. I want somethin simple.

Uhm...So i was at Arvon house today we was playin Madden [ which i suck at ] buh i love it so i play anywaysz && this nigga talkin shit so i was like well damn teach me how to play then. I wasn't serious shit. I was jus flirtin bein dumb, so why this nigga gone come sit behind me and try to put his arms around me && tell me which buttons to press? Lmao yeah its cute as hell in theory but he sat there for about two seconds && then he was like oh nah you got it, && went && sat back on the [ opposite ] side of the room, like the punk he is. lmao. We goin back over tomorrow cus we always go over Sunday. && i'm stayin the night cus i ain't got school Monday. Before yall start thinkin nasty understand the boy don't even know I'm flirtin wit him yet to try anything like that. Lmao thats half the reason I feel so safe round him. The nigga can't take advantage he slow as shit.

Thass it. Madd Short. Yea i'm forreal boutta change this blog cus its hella on mii nerves. Oh yea && [ for sammy cus she the only person who know df I'm talkin bout ] Bruce called a lil while ago. Can we say: ring........ring......ringgggggggg. Fuck that nigga. Lemme daydream bout Arvon slow ass I can't do that wit him on the phone. Lmao. Oh yea && i got me a lil honeydip. I needa find a picture of that hoe so i could put it in here. She neeeeeeda get on aim. Ehh w/e -changes blog.

Duecesz.

So i gotta write this paper but I can't write it cus i got all this other stuff going on in mii head so i figured i'd blog real quick then write mii paper so that I could focus on this paper.

Oh yea && i feel madd weird right now cus i'm in this study group room wif the other Ashley && Nicole && i've never blogged wif other ppl in the room before. I mean like ppl I wasn't like blood related to. I feel like i'm being spied on [ :-s ]

Anywaysz. This morning i was in the bathroom straightening mii hair && i damn near passed out cus I jus got all extra hot all the sudden && then i was like ohhhhh shit. Cus i knew what was up so i went in the kitchen to pour miiself some water so i could cool off you kno? && the second that cold water hit, the cramps started. Oooooh i'm so mad. Like why now? Yuck this is iritating.

[ I'm mad i just cleaned mii computer yesterday && its dirty again, where the hell does this dirt come from? ]

Anywaysz i dunno what i'ma write this paper on and thats bothering me. Like seriously its bothering me. &&&&&&&& thats the end cus i really wanted to say something but the overwhelming sense of being spied on is blockin mii thoughts. Which means i'll write more later lmao.

No pic of the day. My thoughts are blocked, member?

Oh yea
&& fuck a singing box.
I'll have the music fixed
eventually
yuck

Duecesz
=D

[ turn the player to track (5) ]

Mom:: Aunty Isha && Lee Say You're Acting Like A Brat.
Me:: I Don't Really Care.
Mom:: Excuse Me?
Me:: They Don't Wanna Act Like Family ; They Wanna Act Like The Females Who Work The Window At The International Bank of Gilbert ; So if thats how they wannna act thats how they gone get treated. && who really cares what the females who work the window at the bank think? They ain't got no money. They livin off the bank just like Us.
Mom:: True
Me:: So they could think I'm a brat till Jesus comes. I'm really done caring.
Mom:: Me too.


So Jon wanted to go over to mii Aunty Isha && goddaddy's house cus they got movies && shit && it aint really nothin to do at our house. So i was like cool whatever I'll take you over there. So I Im'd mii lil sister [ ree ] on aim to ask her who was over there , cus i took him over there yesterday and wasnt' nobody there but ree so i hadda bring him all the way back. Anywaysz she says everybody's over there so i said i was gone bring him over. And she was like no don't we're busy. And i was like busy doin what? And she was like Lee's watching Tv and aunty Isha's sleep and Goddaddy's on the computer but we're gonna start cleaning in a while. And i was like that don't sound busy to me. And she was like well goddaddy said don't bring him over cus we're busy. And i was like okay i'll be sure to let him know nobody over there has time for him. And she was like well he can come if you stay. And i was like the whole reason for me bringing him over there is so i don't have to watch him. Ion even like bein over there so if i'ma be watchin him anyways i'll just keep him over here.

That conversation is what led the two most complaninest bitches in the world to call me a brat.

And like i said, i don't really care. I'm through wit them talkin shit about me and my mom jus cus we on hard times right now. I'm sick of them actin like they ain't got no time for my brother when i promise you they ain't doin shit right now but they gone tell him he can't come over cus they busy. Df kinda selfish bullshit? And i'm hella sick of my fuckin sister bein a sellout over there washin they laundry and cookin they food cus she doesn't wanna be associated wit "the poor side of the family". I'm hella upset that she talk shit just like they do now, that she ain't never here, she don't never do shit here, and she wanna talk shit about how we don't do anything for her when i was doin that bitch hair and checkin her homework and cookin her dinner when them bitches she stayin wit now was 1500 miles away wit not one bit of concern for whether she was safe or healthy or fed or none a that shit.

&& its just on mii fuckin nerves is all.


Now if you'll excuse me ; i'm boutta go play video games wif mii baby && then maybe take him to the park to play catch or some shit so he don't think errbody in this fuckin family done forgot he existed.


Shit.....

[ turn the player to track (3) ]

Ugh ; okay i like yu. Ain't that punishment enough? To like yu outta all people in the world? When errbody think i'm still feelin ur cousin? So i could look like a hoe to the entire city of portland and half of vancouver? Cus of how I feel? Cus apparently I'm supposed to be able to control that shit. But I can't. And then yu gone make it worse. Cus you gone say some dumb shit like , " Well damn I was just tryna be friendly ". Nigga ; do yu kno what friendly does to a female when she likes yu? Stop bein stupid. Now that you've showed me that you're smart you can't go around actin fuckin stupid. Thats hella unacceptable. Get ur shit together ; seriously. Dammit!! Yu got me distracted. This is not a thing that I do. Not for a nigga that acts a stupid as yu ; who has given very little indication that he even knows i'm breathing [ in that way ] && i'm about a pin drop away from actin a damn fool over yu? Nah buddy that shits gone have to stop. Ugh. Ugh. I bet it ain't even yu ; its me. I bet i'ma look back on this blog in a month && be like " damn Ash why was u sweatin this nigga so hard? " [ thats mii brain talkin ; mii heart calls yu forever ] but thats not the point. I know better. I do. So yea. Leave me the hell alone.


&& there is no pic of the day cus i already know what it would be and if you're smart you do too. =|